Take A Smoke or Let Them Free

March was all about my new haircut; owing myself a shower and trying to be kind, resourceful, and respectable enough when people ask me for cigarettes. I was presented four box of Lucky Strike 100's from My Father Yesterday and Tomorrow I have a nine o'clock appointment with Medico MD 👾 I have an appointment with the dentist. I have been wearing the same dentures for almost two years. Seems everything in my room is from two or three years ago, with a load of laundry to fold. I just smoked the last of my BLK Original which I bought with $4.80. I use my IPhone 11 and spent it off Chime; I have been receiving money from My Pay-E . . . My Father, who I will call at 3:30PM. I added $19.65; in my account on March 26th 2023 at 8AM. It was nice, my new housemate, just said she's glad I had a good day.

Maybe we just have a hard time, saying no! After talking to My PCP; on Tuesday, I was told that smoking was hurting me. Though I have been smoking cigarettes since I was fifteen. I am reluctant though I find it hard to tell my little whims . . . NO! I have $50 on Venmo; and I want to use it to the best of my ability. Today; I bought a pack of Supreme Cigars, A Venom, and A BLK. Yesterday, I bought a pack of Supreme's and a Venom. These little trips to the store get costly, and I have spent . . .  

$$$ 3.24. 1.89. 3.55. 3.24, 3.23, 3.55, 3.77, 4.82, 3.22, 3.56, 6.48, 3.23, 3.01, 3.40, 3.23, 8.52, 6.96, 4.48, 1.78, 3.40, 4.80 $$$ 

I Have Spent $84 At The Convenient Store This Whole Month! I went to the store 21 times . . . 

 

Thanks For Reading

 I was handed' . . . $60 out of the kindness of his heart! I know that money is a serious and dangerous issue. Though, how far you are willing to go for it . . . Means a lot. There's one course for school that I really wish I would have done better in and I have one more science course. In order to repeat school, I have to pay $2,168 to William's and Fudge. I spent $40 on one of the heavy and deep topics a new house mate has troubled my mind with. I am not alone though she says when I figure out a way to do better I will. How many times do we hear about struggles? Today, My Dad said that he took our son to the ocupational and physical therapist. He has ADAD and walking on his tip toes. I have false teeth and living with skitzo voices in my head that sometimes lead me to danger. I want everyone to be safe and I am doing much better now. I know that my momma, was so tired of it, that she kicked me out of the house or I ran away several times. In the care of our caregivers and cozy in my room. I'm glad it feels like my heart is ready to settle down and call this home. I get along with everyone here although, there's ten of us here. I have a Primary Care Physician appointment tomorrow at 12PM; hoping I can make it in time tomorrow. Though the lady in Charge of Cave Care is so busy. How do we really care about someone? I was a lost mother and I used to call myself a bad mother. I'm glad I'm settling down to the point where I don't want anything too bad to happen. In everything we shoould be grateful and keep the peace!

Saturday's Situation

I have spent most of the day, in my room working on a list of topics that I found that I wanted to do more research on throughout my planner. Sorting them from topics to cover Saturday to Sunday and throughout the week. I was surprised and happy that my parents came by and dropped off four packs of Lucky Strikes. I'll open a pack at 5PM. It's good to look at your current situation and find ways to make it better. I have a way of letting my mind wander to topics that aren't good for me. We had a good morning, except for the fight that broke out this morning. Though we had the main provider of Cave Care come in and situate everything in proper working order. I am nowhere near perfect, but I tend to stick to myself and am mostly quiet. It meant the world to me that my parents came by. . .

St. Patricks Day

We celebrated St. Patrick's Day at the center today, we wore green sparkly shamrock hats and took photos. They handed out green beads and at the end of the day they took up the hats and the necklaces. It's the weekend and I have ten cigarettes left from what my father handed me last weekend when we went fishing. He said, he can't go this weekend, tomorrow because My Mom and Him are going to be taking pictures. I hope he drops by and takes me too breakfast and provides me with four packs of Lucky Strikes. I have learned it is dangerous to make someone, your entire world. God, should take more of your life than anyone and my main concern shouldn't be cigarettes. Although, every weekend he's provided for me, I have been thankful. My parents drove home from little rock, Arkansas, today and I'm still waiting to hear back from them. Spring Break was this week and I had the joy of talking with my case workers. I want to just chill out this weekend and it's Friday! The weekend is a good time to relax and catch up on things. 

St. Patrick's Day Tomorrow

Had a cup of instant coffee, just now, before I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I am thankful for my St. Patrick's Day long sleeve T-Shirt, that My Dad bought for me. Not to be too personal, but I haven't had anything to write about. Using My Happy Planner to record the days in which we go to the center and that's pretty much every day. I'm hoping that, my family, comes home safe and sound tomorrow, and that I will see my father this weekend. I've had my haircut for the last two weeks, and I love it! The storm, seems to be over, and we we're under a Tornado watch till 5PM. 

St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow, and I have only written on the blog once since the beginning of the month. The people at MHMR, put me on Trazadone for better sleep. We're having chicken tonight and tomorrow we're going to the center where we have breakfast and lunch. I believe, we all need a little luck in our lives. 

Matcha Through March

 An unwelcome cut off from My Dad's phone to mine occured before I went outside to smoke the last Lucky Strike in my Third package. He reminded me that I had a package at his house and we talked about more important manners and matters, this time. I told him that Matcha was a very forgiving color, as I am a very forgiving person. I don't like when people stand and are in my way. I normally stick to myself and my other individual who is in this room is giving her story. Hidden behind this white plank of white cabenitry I feel like a spy ... Instead a needing to clean room and another coat of polish. 

Since My last story with Samuel, I realize this coat of polish shoes that someone had worked powers of my heart! As I sang, . . . I Am a Dead Girl! We normally; sit outside at the center, and today a box of books showed up. I got a new Reader's Digest and a Book of Proverbs. My Adulting 101 Book, 

I bought thirteen months ago at The Ross that Job had wanted me to work at , . . . and My Explosive Child Book from My Parents still situated without being opened for a while. 

I talked about HOPE Church; but honestly I just remember fights around there! When I was homeless, and now I have been in this house 28 months. As A War Doll; of my dear beloved father, I am reminded to treat myself as a princess and not listen to these other statements of meanness.