Drawing Ends The Year

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I love 💕 drawing and for Christmas this year my parents surprised me with a new sketchbook and expensive Tombow Pastel Markers. A Carton of Lucky Strikes and A Zippo, some make-up and some candy. It's the end of the year and we're starting 2022. I want to focus my blog on what's working for me and how I am moving in the right direction. I got my injection this week and bought some colored pencils.

I had an amazing time with my caseworker this week and today she bought me a white chocolate mocha from a nice coffee shop at Babylon's. Then we went to Dollar Tree, note they went up .25 cents on every dollar. I bought a steno notebook and two things of instant coffee and some toilet paper.

We don't go to the center tomorrow; and it's New Years Eve tomorrow.

Christmas 🎄 Eve

​Merry Christmas 🎄 Everyone; 

This Morning I woke up at 3:45AM ❤️‍🩹; then went back to sleep till 7AM. At 9AM . . . Mrs. Cheryl showed up and I opened the present from her sister Mrs. Cookie 🍪. A picture that said “Be You” that was held in a frame.

My Dad picked me up shortly after I had taken my medication 💊 and she gave me my pill box & after we got done smoking a cigarette. 

Dad picked me up and we went to go get donuts 🍩 !! Then at 711 I got two packs of Black American Spirits. When I arrived to my parents house 🏡 the house was decorated nicely and there were presents 🎁 under the tree and we watched “Encanto”

Going to The Christmas Eve Service at 3PM…

The 🌟 appeared again from the Eastern skies. It led them until it hovered over the place of the child. They were at the right place at the right time. They entered the house and saw the child in the arms of Mary. They then opened their luggage & presented gifts: Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh.

Matthew 2:8-11

Witnessing Wednesday

I have learned not to blame anyone for the situation I'm in; and leaning on God's help this holiday season. As my caseworker just dropped me off and we had a phone interview with my Psychiatrist. I'm waiting for my clothes and sitting here with the binder I started that was inspired from cydneymarlene.com "A GYST Binder"... Thinking about how I can make my situation a bit better and how I need to do better about self-care. I need to take a shower and I don't have any excuses. How I need to focus on myself and prepare for Friday Morning for when my Dad will be here at 10AM. I'm going over there to their house for Christmas Eve ... I have my son's presents all wrapped up and I also placed some gifts under the tree. Mrs. Cookie is here wrapping presents and I'm happy to say that I can finally relax and do some learning about topics I've been interested in.

Change does not come quickly and the best way for my life to make sense again, is too keep doing the right thing and stick to the golden rules of what I need and care for. I'm thinking about my hobbies, in January when we first got our 2nd Stimulus Check "I wanted too start a business and start JF-Designs again." Instead I bought a lovely laptop and then things went downhill. Things have started looking up again and I need and have a desire too focus on my hobbies of writing, painting, blogging, reading, and drawing.

The Lions Club Center

It’s Christmas week; and I’m counting down the days till I see my family. This week we’re not at Heritage and we’re at The Lions 🦁 Club. Yesterday my caseworker picked me up and we went to the Dollar Tree 🌲. I bought coffee and we looked around. Then we went to Sonic and she got me an orange 🍊 cream slush. I have $1.60 in my Chime account & $5 in my Venmo account. 

Then when I got home I needed to clean out my closet and vacuum. I placed the bag of stuff I got for my house 🏡 mates on the bed. Cleaned and then called my family. 

Tuesday’s Ten Before Christmas

Consecutive actions are all it equated too; last Saturday from a chicken 🐔 and waffles to steak tonight. I can tell you I have been very blessed to make it as far as I have. It's almost Christmas and our tree is up and we have gifts under the tree. Smoking House Montegos from North Carolina where my Aunt Susan lives to Smoking Yellow American Spirits that my Dad bought me.

In the next 10 days I’d like to…

1. Write a proper blog entry and finish writing Christmas 🎅 cards.

2. Apologize for my “Wicked” sleeping habits from the front of the month.

3. Recover from selfish shopping 🛍.

4. Solve crimes in the parks, and finish science experiment projects.

5. Write My Christmas Wishlist.

6. Keep a clean house 🏡 while smoking safely and drinking my coffee.

7. Watch 3 Christmas Movies all the way through.

8. Learn more about what the Government and Politics and what they are doing to me and my future.

9. Write helpful 2022 goals.

10. Help my son…

Monday's Mood

Waking up this Monday Morning to being able to drink coffee with my two awesome housemates. We went outside to smoke cigarettes at 8AM; which is what time where allowed to go outside. 

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The Weather Outside Is Getting Cold & I Don’t Want To Get Frost Bite Again. <p>

The weather is turning colder and I need and was needing my sweatshirt. I love the new blanket I bought for my bed and Christmas is coming up. I need to stay inside when it gets too cold 🥶! <p>

I’m lucky to have a house on Hightower I share with my housemates and hopefully one day I can take care of myself. When I think 🤔 of how careless and reckless I’ve been with my life I don’t have to regret it. I just need to do better the next current moment and make wise decisions. I don’t have to beat myself up about the 5 times I ran away & got hurt 😢 or stuff stolen from me. Don’t have to think negatively about the 5 times I went to jail for shoplifting. <p>

Beginning to look a lot more like Christmas.

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We decorated the house this weekend for Christmas; putting the tree up and the stair way is decorated with tensil. We are waiting for our caregiver to come and give us our medicine. Thinking about what would be good for me to do; following house rules helps. 

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This weekend we watched "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and mostly I stayed in bed all weekend. I haven\"t been very creative the last few weeks and on Friday my caseworker started talking about coping strategies. This weeked I painted my nails a pretty Christmas Tree color. Getting along well with others is important to me. Also, I want to do the best I can.

Why Do I Blog?

I haven't blogged in a while, and it's Amazing that it's December already. I haven't had anything to write lately that I think other people should read and am closing my blog JohnnaFloyd.com at the beginning of next year. My thoughts haven't really added up and they're not making much sense to me. As I struggle with ways to fill my time and becoming myself again. Blogging was the main reason I bought My Laptop and lately I haven't used it. I am finding I'm hiding my talents which God told us not to do. My main Care Giver; the one in charge of where I live asked me if I would start blogging again when I had gotten the 2nd Stimulus Check. I had a good Thanksgiving; we had a great meal. This week Dad put $50 in my Venmo and I'm still searching for the perfect Christmas gift for my little one. Yesterday I bought some Christmas Stickers and some Poinsetta Decorations. Hopefully tomorrow I'll find my son the perfect present. Thinking about what I can do to get into the Holiday Spirit. I bought 4 things of coffee and I had coffee this morning.

Finally December

It's the last day of November and We had a Happy Thanksgiving. Our caregivers provided great food; we had turkey and ham and dressing and potatoe salad. As well as pumpkin pie and peach cobbler. I've stayed home for the most part but two weeks ago I had to go to SpringWood Hospital. The week before Thanksgiving.

The Holiday season is here and I'm realizing how fortunate I am to be safe here at the group home. Thinking about what to get my son and family for Christmas. I bought some Christmas Cards yesterday and two gift bags. Hopefully I find my family something really cool.

Fruitage More-n-ing's

It's been an Awsome week here at The Group Home and at Heritage and with my case manager. As fall is here; I'm happy to be in a good place. It's Friday; and I am feeling a lot safer and willing to be here. I feel blessed and lucky to be alive.

Things I've Done This Week (Last Week Of September) :
I was able to get my injection
Talk to my psychiatrist
Get medication refills and go up on my Zoloft
Start my new job at Heritage
Buy a Pumkin Spice Frappacino
Buy a Pumkin Halloween Blanket
Buy some Pumkin Crafts
Recieving My Dentures
Go shopping with my Dad

Things I Do In The Mornings: Wake Up
Check My Phone
Drink Coffee
Smoke Cigarette's
Get Dressed
Use a Face Cloth
Dentures
Read Bible Study From "Our Daily Bread"
Blogging

I haven't written in a long time . . .

"Become who you are supposed to become so you can do what your supposed to do." I haven't been on this blog in a long time. I'm currently listening to Christian Uplifting Motivational Videos on YouTube. Thinking of what I need to get done. There hasn't been much to talk about. I have been taking an antibiotic for my hand that makes me tired. The group and I just took our medicine and got our five cigarettes and smoked. I've been taking courses on coursera.org. Learning is a lifetime goal. I'm planning on cleaning my room today.

It's Monday; and My 34RD Birthday is Wednesday !!!

I would say that I have had a good growing up; My parent's are happily married and have been for 35 years strong. They both watch over my little one while I am here at Cave Care Group Home. They have done the best they can to provide for me... As well as I have done a fairly good job of working and going to school. In the book I got from GoodWill "Cultivated" by John and Stasi Eldridge I am learning so much. That it's ok to feel like your lost but it's not someone who is going to save you. You have to find it in the power from God and through yourself to not get takin advantage of and when you do to not give up. As I am maturing and my Birthday is coming up I find it more important to do things that will be meaningful down the road.

My List of 34 Random Things 1. Write Daily; journal and take notes.
2. Once A Week Buy 1 to 3 Nice Presents For Myself.
3. Talk to my family on Facetime Tuesday's and Thursday's.
4. Do not leave the safety and retreat of the Group Home.
5. Keep up with my blogging.
6. Getting Dentures soon; it should be two weeks from now.
7. Take notice of little things in life that make a big difference.
8. Put your best foot forward...
9. Put others interest ahead of yours...
10. Stay put in one place and don't run off...
11. Keep your stuff organized and neat...
12. Know that everything comes from God apart from God we have nothing...
13. Give yourself credit and know you've come a long way...
14. Don't slip back into the old patterns and negative behaviors.
15. Use your own judgement and know everybodies lifes different.
16. If you don't get to see your family often cherish the times you do get to spend together.
18. Do what you can to make the best out of your situation.
19. Understand that you can not impose on someone else's life.
20. Try your best each day.
21. Keep in contact with your loved ones.
22. Do not settle for something that is not good for you.
23. Somethings are better left as they already are.
24. Read at least 30 minutes a day.
25. Don't leave your safety and comfort for something temporary.
26. Keep your word and work to the best of your ability.
27. Don't overspend of see too much in a negative situation.
28. Do your part and take care of your responsibilities.
29. Keep your home clean and neat and take pride in where you live.
30. Read a little of the word everyday.
31. Listen and Respect your parents...
32. Keep up with your personal hygiene.
33. Love all... Trust Few... Do Wrong To No One...
34. Keep with your age and act accordingly.
Just talked to My Dad after we ate dinner and smoked; we had chicken spaghetti and garlic bread with some really yummy sweet carrots. We get five cigarettes at night and tonight we got Blue Carnival's. My Dad and I talked about the progress I've made since I've been back to the Group Home after coming back home from Mesa Springs.

Bewilderment Vs. Discernment

When first getting to know someone; I hope you aren't like I am. Thinking where did I first meet this person? This person must have come from my History Book somewhere... I just ate dinner and had two Monster Energy Drinks... First a NOZ Drink R.I.P. Dr. Naus; who was my Psychiatrist and I had been going to him for almost 18 years. I have spent 20 days at "Mesa Springs Hospital" and My new Psychiatrist is Dr. Bodea-Barothi I should hear back about Intensive Outpatient soon. I am diagnosed Bipolar Skitzophrenic and Now I have PTSD. Finally; I had a Monster Juice Pacific Punch. I smoked a couple of cigarettes. Now I'm silently in my room; thinking of how I just cut the rat tails out of my hair.

Today I bought a hot pink and black Worth backpack a new pair of Rainbow Stripped Nike's and two books. I must say that this book; Captivated by John and Stasi Eldridge is a good buy. I've gotten to chapter two and it's great so far. I also bought a book called "The Night Portrait" by Laura Morelli about WWII. My 34th Birthday is coming up and for my birthday my parents are taking me to go eat at Ninja Sushi. I spent yesterday with them and got to see my little 7 year old. We got slurpies and when I accidently spilt one I said "SHIT!" out loud and he was astonished...

There is a difference between being in Bewilderment and being in Discernment... First to be Bewildered means that your in a state of confusion. Curiosity deffinitly killed the cat; speaking of cats my Family's cat Hymnal ran away and probably got killed. I would be stating it the kindest way possible if I said that the last relationship I had was full of Bewilderment and wasn't healthy so I had to stop it. Learning to be happy being me and not depending on a substance to make me happy or the relationship with an older man looking over me to hold me to my highest regard.

Discernment comes from the core right now; as I am being contiounse of what steps to take and what to just leave in the past. Seems I write a whole hell of a lot and that helps get a lot of stuff off my chest; since talking off topic and about the wrong subject used to be one of my downfalls. There are only 5 of us here at the house on Hightower and most of the other people went to Meadowbrook. Yes I have lost some stuff along the way and have been; only this time my Birthday resolution is to stop the trending rebitual sentence of what has been happening for the last 10 years.

Saturday & Pinterest

I have some good moments and some hard moments; and my mood is quite moody since I'm on that part of the month. I've been researching Confidence and working on my Pinterest... Was planning on working on my blogs all weekend; so I could feel like I accomplished something. Life is ever changing and everybodies advice is different. Just tried to go down stairs to smoke and they said no. I shouldn't take everything so personally; but lately I feel like everyone has been picking on me or that I'm relying on them too much.

We just ate dinner; at 3:45PM - Today has been kind of a strange day...
I've been in my pajamas all day and I haven't called my Dad. We had gravy chicken and rice. I added a Pinterest Widget to the bottom of the page. I also have no idea what to write about today; and I have been very unproductive and uncreative lately.

Friday & The Start Of The Weekend

I did better with my money this week; and bought myself a nice necklace and pair of earrings from Sam Moon. I’ve been looking forward to getting paid my $50; from my parents on Friday. 

Waiting on the pastor to pick me up; to go to Heritage Day Care Center. I love going there during the week; and on Friday we normally have a dance party and a drawing from the tickets we receive for doing good during the week. I 

I have been sober for three months; and intend on staying that way & I am trying my best to improve myself everyday. I’ll be 34 in two months & I want to do better for myself & trust God in every detail of my life. 

This Weekend; I’m not starting work but we will be soon. Soon we will be working at The Texas Ranger Ballpark & AT&T Stadium working concessions. It’s been since 2013 since I’ve worked; I received my Social Security soon after starting a job at Wal-Mart. I was offered a job in 2016; but started going to Texas Wesleyan for Productions and Humanities. The schedule didn’t work out with Fiestas.

PCP Appointment & Self Care

I’m sitting outside the Heritage Day Care Center; and we just finished lunch. My Case Manager; picked me up at 10AM and we went to go see my Primary Care Provider. The PCP; took 5 tubes of blood and I gave a urine sample. I need to schedule an OBGYN appointment and do my best to improve my health. 

We had Lisa’s Chicken for lunch and on the way to the center I got a Dr. Pepper and Monster Kona Coffee from Valero. 

Looks like we’re not going to be able to work this weekend. I called my Dad; almost every day this week, and he’s annoyed that I’ve been calling so much. My Mom added me on my new Facebook.  

I have to start doing better; not only for myself and my future but for the sake of everyone involved in my life. 

The Month Of June on MMP For MHMR

My Case Worker dropped me off at the house...
She picked me up a little after lunch and we went to The Dollar General to get pads; seems I'm going to start my period soon. Then we went to Sam Moon and I bought a necklace and some earrings. Then we went to Brauhm's and I bought a double dipped cone. I have a Doctors appointement in the morning at 10AM. It is good that I haven't spent all my money on Cigarettes this week; unlike the week before. So that I could get myself some things I wanted and needed.

I have been doing good so far; one more month at this house then we move into our new house. Then my 34th Birthday is coming up... I want to have a Native American Birthday! Last year my parents took me out to eat German Food for My 33RD Birthday!

Today was laundry day and I just finished folding my laundry. Then put it in the teal bin I keep all my clothes in. I have two bins that we bought at Wall-Mart; one for clothes and another one for other misc. stuff like books and toilet paper.

Right Now I Would Like To Talk About; Where I Stand in my own opinion as myself. I am Single; and not looking for a relationship - seems I just don't do good in relationships and have a disorganized attachment style. I am giving my parents custody of my son; I tried to contact my ex to get his number and his address and I'm still waiting on a reply, so we can get the papers for the Adoption. I have a roommate; and have seven housemates all together. I have been living in a group home for the past six years; and left a total of five times. I go to a Daily Day Care Fecilitiy; and I really like it. I see MHMR two to three times a week and they have been a big help.

Dispite all the set-backs; I am looking forward to things getting better in the future. While not walking down negative roads again. Things change all the time; but I have learned I'm better here and it's better to follow God's plan. The more I follow the rules the better it gets also.

Life As Me On Monday; after partying all weekend.

Just took my blood pressure with my heart rate monitor; I started taking my blood pressure and I'm supposed to use the machine every day. I got the machine before Christmas and my Son's 7th Birthday.

In fact there's several things I'm supposed to do and not to do every day. I have matured in the last 3 months; a good bit.

Saturday; was socially akward and Friday I had bought some drinks for the group. Since we should always pay kindness back with kindness. Then Sunday Morning; I went and first went to the Texaco and bought a large Starbucks Frappe, the kind that go in a glass bottle. I love street art and I placed it by Meadowbrook close to where I thought I was going into to turn and go to the house when two of our neighboors dogs had escaped and were going down the street. The brown dog bit me and when I kept walking a lady and her dog got attacked by the Big Black Dog. I am not too keen on dogs, and I am more of a cat person.

At our Mim's house earlier this year; we had a white PitBull puppy named Ice who was only a few mpnths old. He would whimper, bite, and our caretaker ended up letting someone in the family adopt it. My Dad has our family dogs; ones a carrier tarrier named Chloe, and the other is a grey healer named Dixie. I just called my Dad at 3:35PM and wanted to see if I could come over for the weekend. The last time I saw my Dad and Son; we went to "The Chinese Buffet" and to "Luxors Vape Shop"... For Mother's Day.

I like my Vaporizer; and have had several Vaporizers bought for me. I have vaped ever since they came out off and on. Right now I'm vaping "Caramel Cappacino at 24mg" through a Geek Vape "Regis"; which cost about $75. In 2010 I took Journalism at UTA; now I'm working on Public Relations and Advertising.

I had a Large Slurpee today!
Looking forward to spending time with the groups and writing more and building and drawing some content for my portfolio.

What I Need To Do EveryDay; From Now On After

1. Try To Bathe; and use soap.
2. Do some learning.
3. Talk to important people.
4. Help one person a day.
5. Blog and Add 5 To Pinterest.
6. Brush My Gums... I'm trying to get dentures again
7. Gather My Belongings and Sort Through Something
8. Read Devotional and Pray and Read My Bible
9. Learn About My Missed and Missled Classes from old college days