Finally Friday

​I’m looking forward to going to go eat breakfast with My Father, tomorrow. He said we’re going to make it our Saturday ritual. It’s the last day of the week and we’re sitting at the table. One more present to arrive for my son’s 9th birthday. That will arrive Monday, and I am super excited to spend Christmas weekend with them and His Birthday! 

I haven’t blogged in a while, but yesterday my Psycho-Social lady came to see me at the center. She suggested that I blog, since it gives me something to do. They are playing Mexican Bingo and there’s a lot of people here. We had breakfast burritos and two cups of coffee. 

Tuesday's Thoughts

It's 5:39PM; I've been home from the center since 3PM. Yesterday, they didn't come but today the MITs bus arrived at 8:30AM. After I finished a cup of coffee. It's close to the end of the year and I am getting ready and in the Christmas Spirit.

The caregiver is making our meal downstairs in the kitchen, and we just came inside from smoking. Had some liquid iv energy drink and a Dr. Pepper since I've been home. 

Today, two people called from Diadem Hearts to say they were meeting with me this week. I have an appointment for Thursday at 3PM. One a Psycho-Social and the other a Recovery Manager. I talked to my Dad on the phone at 3:30PM and told him that they were coming to meet with me this week. We're going out Saturday morning to go eat breakfast at Skillet N' Dinner. I will know more, when they come to talk to me.

Still waiting for My Amazon order to go through and process, called Amazon and they said that payment would be when it ships. My housemate and a close good friend here gave me a nice ring today. The Northside Adult Day Care was decorated with Christmas decorations and tomorrow marks the last day of November. 

Mostly Monday

The MITs bus didn't arrive at 8AM, and instead we sat in the kitchen till about 10:30AM. It's 12:39PM and smoke time was from 12PM to 12:30PM. My family made it home safely from Mississippi and we enjoyed Thanksgiving here. Although, I haven't seen them in two weeks, I miss them. Waiting for an order from Amazon to process the payment through and I already received the little one's Christmas present. I miss the days when True Mental Health would take me out and we would do fun things like go to The Water Gardens. Though, now I have changed to Diadem Hearts and have little to talk about. The caregiver made brunch; breakfast sandwiches and I had some coffee. 

Why Worry Wednesday

Sitting in my room, after a long day at the center. Watching some motivational and informational videos. Worry causes your problems to get worse. Your circumstances are not the center of your life. Keep going, acting, and doing what you must do because then you will find the peace of God. Housemates, asking for cigarettes, we have twenty minutes till we can go smoke. Seems that's all anyone around here cares about, even though, My Dad has given me almost nine packs of Lucky Strike Red 100s, I don't want to share them. I am on a journey to self-awareness by looking at myself from an objective point of view. Through understanding my strengths, limitations, and weaknesses. Reading through some of the old journals I have and adding to them. A lady from Diadem Hearts came to the center "Northeast Side Adult Day Care" and had me sign some paperwork for the program. Ten more minutes till we smoke, normally the residents don't talk to me unless they want a cigarette, which I have told them no several times. I don't want to be used and treated badly and they have been a nice gift from my father. My hands are cold from being outside and I smoked two cigarettes. I have generalized anxiety disorder that I have to take medication for.

Worry; to give way to anxiety or unease, allowing me to dwell on difficulties or troubles. Thoughts, Images, Emotions, and Actions, of a negative nature in repetition. Uncontrollable manner that results from a proactive cognitive risk made to avoid or solve anticipated potential threats and their potential consequences. 

It's 6PM and I just refilled My Geek Vape with Tigers Blood. 

 

 

Diadem Hearts

I just got asked if the elderly lady, smokes in the house. Went outside and smoked two cigarettes, and another member of our group home got in trouble with opening the back door. At 3PM, after we got home from The Northeast Side Day Center; a man by the name of Job came to talk to me about the wonderful program of Diadem Hearts. He stated that not to many people get into the Program, and I am one of the fortunate ones that did. I am a recovering addict, mostly weed and meth, and I have been Sober over a year. A senior in college, looking forward to maybe one day finishing. We had an over the computer interview with a service coordinator and he said services will start this week. 

Services – Diadem Hearts – Recovery Management and Provider Entity

My Three Goals

1. To graduate college with a bachelor's degree in Advertising.  

    I haven't gone to school since Spring of 2018 and have five more classes till graduation. 

2. To grow closer to My Family.

    I have a ten year younger and eight year younger sister, who I don't talk to very much.

3. To mature as a young Christian woman.

The Five Programs I Am Going to Be a Part Of

1. Psychosocial Rehabilitation -

2. Nursing Services -

3. Peer Support - 

4. Transportation -

5. Substance Use Disorder Services -

First Day At The Center

​Sitting at a green table, there’s a lot of people here. We got on The MITS bus at 8AM. We traveled all the way through Fort Worth! Had breakfast burritos 🌯 for breakfast and two cups of coffee. Woke up wearing the same thing I wore all weekend. It is nice getting to go to the center again. Walked to the store with a housemate and drinks and chips were $2.50, 

Super Saturday

The time we spent together is precious, and I can't wait till we get to spend more time together! Sitting in My Room, thinking about this morning. I was able to see My Mom, Dad, and the little one. We went to go eat at Skillet N' Dinner, me and the little one got Chicken and Waffles. I still have a box of food left with Chicken and Waffles. My Mom and Dad are Happily Married, and I admire their relationship. Hoping one day, I will be that happy! Their good with the little one and he asked if I could come over more often. We spent time playing with an iPad slime maker, and he said he wanted a beanie boo's gift basket and some Hot Wheels for Christmas and His 9th Birthday. My Mom said, "Thank You, for the card!" Though we weren't together for long, we had a good time. They got me four packs of Lucky Strike cigarettes and two cases of Dr. Peppers. 

Balancing social life and getting things done. How much time, should we spend together? I was with My Family for an hour! There is definitely a difference between spending time together and spending time alone. I'm sitting in this room with two other people and there are eight of us who live here, and our caregiver is here.  It's healthy to have several people you can spend time with. 

 

Happy Birthday Mom

 It's My Mom's 54th Birthday today, and Veterans Day! It's raining and almost 12PM! I'm sitting in my room, listening to the rain fall harder and harder from the sky onto the roof. As it's Veteran's Day I changed into a blue shirt. Going to eat breakfast at Skillet N' Dinner tomorrow morning and go shopping with the family. They got the toilet unclogged and were able to go to the bathroom again. I made my mom a card! I started a new WordPress at http://www.johnnafloyd.wordpress.com and have two blogs now. Just sitting in my room and waiting for lunch. Yesterday, was The Marine Corp. Birthday!

For the most part, I haven't been doing anything! Vaping! Focusing on success and moving forward in life! Went outside with the caregiver, who is going to Wal-Mart, and just used the bathroom, now that it's fixed. It's getting cold outside and it's wet and the walkway is flooded. Back in my room, I hope My Mom is having a good Birthday! 

I'm sitting in my room, damp from the rain outside, remembering the conversation with Dad from yesterday. It's 12:34PM, watching Veterans Day stuff on YouTube. Health, Happiness, and Productivity to Finish the Year! It's November and Thanksgiving is soon! Then it'll be Christmas and the 9 Year old's birthday! Hearing the kids voice on this video about Veterans Day! Thank You, for Your Service to defend Our Freedom. We have 18 Generations of Soldiers who have served in the Armed Forces. 

Use your words to heal and bless others and wait to react, thinking about what I want to accomplish before the year is over. Right now, I am comfortable and am reading about Goals. Goals are not the same as wishes and dreams and need a concrete plan. What are My Goals for the next five years? Maybe I'll finally receive the Financial Air from school I am needing and go back and finish. My Mom is finishing her second bachelor's degree in Journalism. I just became an aunt, Aunt Cathryn! My family is doing good and there are eight people here at the Group Home. Staying at The Group Home has been a blessing and were waiting on our caregiver to come back and have lunch. I'm looking forward to drinking a sugar free coke and going shopping tomorrow for some more drinks.

What can I do This Month? This Week? Today? As a group, we're waiting on hearing back from MITS for transportation to The Northeast Side Day Care, and we will start going there throughout the week. I just got into the Diadem Hearts program and waiting for our next appointment. I had fun getting QuickTrip with one of the caseworkers this week. This month, My Dad, Sister, and Son, are going to Mississippi on the 18th thru 27th. I am staying with the group! 

I'm going through some old notebooks and reading what I have written. I like to take notes from Pinterest,  

  

Monday Morning

I slept well and am ready to face the day! It's 8:30AM, and the two caregivers have been here. We're waiting for the main caregiver to arrive. Went outside and smoked two cigarettes and listened to My Housemates music! I remember saying "I feel so comfortable, . . ." As I woke up this morning. It's the start of a new week and I don't have anything planned for today. 

It was a nice weekend, and I was glad I had the chance to go eat breakfast at Skillet N' Dinner with My Father. Yesterday, day light savings time ended

First Friday

I write this blog for myself and appreciate the readers who do read it! It's been storming for most of the day! Sitting in this dark room, trying to come think of creative things to write. Trying to be alone but part of the group, too much of either one can cause problems. I'm glad the Month of November has started, and I talked to My Father, yesterday. He said they were going to Mississippi on the Seventeenth of This Month. As I am with My Group Home Family, the eight who live here. I am reminded that we all have our own opinions and our own special gifts. 

As A Senior Drop Out, lacking Five Classes to a BA in Advertising. I need to make it my job, to find out all the information on how much I owe the schools. If there's a way I can attain a College Degree, and if I can actually have a career someday. I'm hoping for Financial Relief, but there's so many pieces of information out that I would hate to fall for the wrong ones. My parents have told me to watch out for scams, and I look for ways to make My Future Brighter. 

A lady came today from "Diamond Hearts" to tell me about the program I am starting on Tuesday. Which will include, rides to the stores and to do things, and peer counseling. As It's Fall Season, I am grateful for where I am living, and I am staying strong and safe. Most importantly I have friends here, it is a Christian atmosphere and the caregiver just asked me if I was crying. It's been, a long time, since I cried. No longer feeling sorry for myself but trying to do better, trying to make each day better than the day before. Yesterday, I had an MHMR appointment over the phone.  

Off and On Rain, which it sounds worse now and the winds have really picked up! Sipping on water, and making sure I have plenty of water to drink. As My Housemates, have been sitting outside and the caregiver just said we aren't going back out there. I have had problems with bipolar disorder and most of the residence here at the house have the same disorder. It's thundering and lightening now, and everyone is inside. There has been plenty of food and we had noodles and tuna sandwiches for lunch. 

November is here!

It's The Start of November, the caregivers are downstairs having a meeting. They said . . . "They have no problem with me!" I do what I am supposed to! I try to stay out of the drama and not complain. There has been drama but it hasn't got the best of me. I seem to stick to myself, and I am looking forward to the next time we go to the new center. We've had one person move out and another person move in. I want healthy strong relationships but normally stick to hanging out with the caregivers and daily learning online.

TODAY I'M DEALING WITH UNDERSTANDING

While many of the ideas I have and am learning about are becoming better I need to understand, that I am lucky to be alive! That although, things do seem like people complaining a lot! I am in charge of myself, I'm 35, and My Father is my Pay-E. It's My Parents Anniversary this month. He paid my monthly rent and I have everything I need. Taking a course on Coursera about "Brilliant, Passionate You!" Public health is important and it's more important to have a purpose in life. 

What do I Value? To learn from my mistakes and improve My Future! I value my time here at The Group Home, as I have learned that it's hard out there on the streets. Going in the right direction and not looking back. Sipping on water, had a Dr. Pepper while I waited on MHMR. I'm waiting till my laundry is done out of the dryer. Just had a telehealth appointment with MHMR. Which went well, I have refills on the way and my medicine seems to be working.   

What are some of the ideas I've been Learning... That now that I'm 35 and have my little one being adopted, I don't need to be on the streets and unsafe. I've been sitting in front of the screen and vaping. We will start going to a new center soon and I really liked it the last time I was there. As a group we need to stay safe and keep everybody accountable, which is really, the caregiver's mission but with a little bit of care and help, we can make things run more smoothly here.

There are people who can help us! My caregiver talked about a program I am starting, now that I have ended services with True Mental. There are good and bad people in the world and I hope that they can say I was a strong dependable and risilient person in this world. We have thirty minutes before we go outside and our caregiver just gave us our meds and our five cigarettes.

Self Serving Saturday

 I just took a nap and slept for about an hour and forty-five minutes. Went to sleep last night at Two AM and woke up at Eight AM. It's good to get a decent amount of sleep each night. In order to feel rested and alert at all times. This Morning, My Dad called and took me to Skillet N' Dinner where I had chicken and waffles. The service is a blessing there and the crowd wasn't that bad. Dad also bought me a case of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar and a case of Dr. Pepper. Service is known in the dictionary as helping or doing someone a favor. I'm about to go outside and smoke a few cigarettes then hopefully it'll be lunch time.

I was hungry this morning and ate a big waffle and the chicken strips are great! Thinking of how I can be in service to someone close to me this week. Helping more around the house or just being there for the people that need me. It's so close to Halloween, but no one here has said they are dressing up or doing anything. My little one wants to go to Target, and I am looking at gifts online that match my budget. With the purchase of My New Rainbow Geek Vaporizer, I don't know the next time my father will put money in my account. Though, I owe about $138 for the vaporizer.

I want to keep myself and my germs and my soul . . . safe! I don't want to share, nearly as much as I used too. I am considering myself more selfish, as I try to keep myself safe! The caregiver, who cooked, sloppy joes, and rice, and served me my cherry zero sugar Pepsi. Also, the main woman in charge told me not to share my vaporizer. I have been attacked in the past because I wouldn't share. There's got to be something more to being friends than asking for stuff that is special to another individual. 

Finally Friday

It's Friday about 11PM; staying up tonight and thinking about how things have been since I turned 35! I'm thankful that it is quiet, and it was a rainy nasty day today. Charging My New Rainbow Geek Vaporizer with My HP Stream Laptop. It's the weekend, and I don't feel like going to sleep, just yet! I've been staying at The Group Home since 2016, though this time I know it's the only place that I have that's safe. I have kept up with all the good materials I have gained in the past few years and don't want to lose anything. Learning not to take everything personally and going with the daily flow of life around here. 

Telling the Truth and keeping my word! It's been a full week, I voted, yesterday... My first time to vote again in a long time! It didn't take long, and it was quite a simple and very valuable experience. I'm a Republican and want the best for the future. I read somewhere "For you to be able to fully close a chapter in life, you have to be able to open a new one and move forward. Finished a jar of coffee and charging My New Vaporizer. I have two disposable vaporizers and two e-juice vaporizers. My Father: found my last purple vaporizer at his house that I must have left on Labor Day.

For the last couple of Saturday's, My Father, has been taking me out to Skillet N' Dinner. Though, it's supposed to keep raining and the weather is changing. I went to JPS yesterday and went to the Emergency Room to get my fingers checked out and to see if I could get on birth control so I can get my injection. My parents are adopting the little one and he had a costume parade at school, that dad sent photos and videos of. The last time I saw my whole family was Labor Day and since then I have become an aunt and have yet to see my sister's baby! Although, I saw photos and was grateful for the photos. Earlier, I went through My Photos and deleted some. 

True Test Tuesday

Today, I was told "I'm very Independent!" . . . That although, I live in this house I am a mature young woman who deserves respect. I was also told I make my own decisions. I told My Father, that I scored 9 out of 24 points on The Amerigroup Assistance Assessment. I didn't argue . . . I have told him everything that has happened! Waiting for My Driver's License to Go Vote! 

Waiting for lunch and for the Chaos around the house to start to calm down. What Test; I remember loosing the right to drive the truck My Father had given me in Spring of 2016, when my tire went flat on the way to a Geography test at UTA. I put in an application to ApplyTexas.com and am waiting on the Academic Advisor meeting on November 7th! I'm hoping things work out with the money I owe Financial Aid!  

I haven't taken a shower, but I do need to realize that I can wash my hair & bathe . . . By Myself! I have a "Brand New" bottle of Pantene Pro-V Shampoo & Conditioner, unopened, and a full bottle of Shampoo + Conditioner in the bathroom. I haven't complained but during the interview with Amerigroup, I felt very uncertain about myself. 

I'm grateful for all the abilities I have! I tried My Best to answer the questions correctly. I can walk though, I started to say my legs hurt! I'm 35; woe's to growing up! 

Monday Morals

​Thanks for the great, small and gracefully cooked breakfast 🧇! We had, sugar waffles, grits, and sausage. Watching NBC5 News; and there’s storms going on. I have learned a valuable lesson that we all should do our best everyday. I am sitting here, on the couch, waiting for my dad to call. 

Morals are lessons concerning what is right or prudent, that can be derived from a story! A piece of information, or an experience.

I am sitting in my room; a gray tub box, serves as my desk. February of last year I had bought a WayFair desk for my room but it now serves as a TV 📺 Table for the other housemates. 

I’ve been on the phone and through My Emails, about school.

Favorite Friday

I had a meeting with MHMR this morning; and our main care giver, . . . called me at 6:45AM. I have worn my Faith sweatshirt and sweatpants. When the caregiver picked me up, we went driving for a while. It's nice to watch her interact with her grandkids. She bought me coffee; I was grateful to have a lot of coffee this morning; and a sausage biscuit and a hashbrown. 

Thank You for These Blessings . . . I finished lunch and had a chicken salad sandwich and corn chips. I smoked, two cigarettes, and the housemate was outside with me, I wish she would stop asking. Why are we being blamed for having social lives and things to do? I had a lovely time out with my caregiver and look forward to seeing My Father in the morning. 

 

Some of The Questions from MHMR in the Counseling Meeting; was have I ever hurt myself on purpose? I was thankful; My Caregiver was there my mind was mostly blank! She told the counselor that I am adventurous and that I'm lucky to be alive. These battles have been demonic and mostly about emotional and sexual abuse. She told him about, things I am trying to forgive myself for and for the most part already have. They had me sign several signatures on the documents and said there will be a meeting for next Wednesday. 

Thoughtful Together

Being dedicated to something, greater than yourself and monetary wishes, is important! I want to be remembered for all the hard work I have done and continue to do. I have had an issue today of getting into a problem with who is in charge of My Health Care. I have trust and faith; that this issue will get resolved. In the following, I would like to discuss what I have experienced with both, how I have improved, and mutual respect. One of the best things to do, is to do your research and find appropriate help.

I need to give, credit, where credit is due on images. I learned about this through istockphoto.com!

Although, today is the 20th, and it says the 10th! I am blessed through all the help I get! 

Mental Health & Mental Rehabilitation. 

I started out with this program in October of 2017; when my care giver signed me up. I really don't know what happened, which isn't a good excuse! I don't like making excuses in the first place. I am doing a lot better though! This program; is the one that they are changing me over too. Through, the last six to eight years . . . I have been writing on how I dropped out of College, Miss My Family and Visit them occasionally, and continue to make progress.

Found From Bing.com; through appropriate care we can make sure we are doing the best we can in life!

True Mental Health; is for people dealing with serious mental illness.

I do not want to go against, too many rules, around here. I don't even know when they started me on this program but each car was almost too luxurious and I would spend a lot of money every time I went out with them. Trips to the stores and one day even persuaded too move out, which I'm glad I didn't do. In some way or form when they showed up today, I felt almost attacked.

They showed up since May and I am glad too see which direction this goes. Life is an adventure, and I'm in an adventurous spirit and I also know my limits! I don't want to be betrayed and try to be a stronger person. My caregivers know best and when enough is enough we do what we can to survive.

Thank You! Rocket Fuel; I am trying to rebuild some of the bridges I have messed up! Hopefully, through learning more about relationships that are healthy I can do Awsome things in the future!

Written On Wednesday

I have three; things that I'm proud of . . . When you're proud of something, you shouldn't just bypass it and I have had moments when I felt my thought pattern was disorganized. I try to get myself organized; and labeled my clothes with a fine tip sharpie. I have been studying on Faith; and too me it means trusting without seeing. I am grateful; that I can see! Though; I'd love to have some newly prescribed glasses. My Email's have been messed up and I am hopefully finished with the Student Loan Battle. The three things, I'm proud of is school, work, and entertaining myself.

Healthy Relationship's; I have been sexually harassed and abused, in past relationships. Though, I am proud of myself for sustaining from sex for close to two years. I don't know, how to discuss this topic and I know I have taken a lot of the pain of it on myself. Being in the right situation and not wanting to go out and staying off the streets in this house. It's something, I am researching right now, and as time goes on things seem to get better. Although; it is something my housemate is bringing up, almost constantly. 

There are currently eight individual clients who live in Cave Care and we all have a mission, purpose, and calling. I am surrounded, in my part of the room, with so many books. I've only read to chapter ten in The Book By Moran "How To Be Famous!" I am so interested in this book, but so many things take up my time and I do them without excuse, for instance washing the dishes and going down the stairs when I am called. The interesting thing is this book has mentioned the name Johanna and I wonder if this is me?! Vain or not, as I am a writer who has been writing since I was 12. The Book; also mentions one of my room-mates names. In a way, this rewards me about writing.

Finding Your Voice; I am wandering into Chapter 10; as one of the caregivers, one who has known me the longest, stated in Fall I get into an Adventurous Spirit! I do not have a huge head, although I know I did when I was a kid. I was reminded, that my son has been asking for all sorts of things. Meanwhile; after the shopping trip this weekend I was happy with the things I have. 

Monday's Motto's

I've had a lovely morning; until one of the housemates emotionally dumps her smoke clouds all over me. Simply to be a companion, sometimes feels threatening. Though, through times of trials that is what we are called to do. We had amazing French Toast and Eggs, made by Ms. J this morning. It's been eight years she's been my caretaker. The First Year; at the first house we moved into I was hired by Fiesta's and I didn't choose anything other than going to Texas Wesleyan. I do not try to put my spirit or wisdom in front of others to intimidate them. The Government is paying off my student loans, as I take care of myself with the help that's provided. 

I do not know exactly what is going on, taking trips with True Mental Health was fun. Then all of a sudden it stopped; and I have been in the hospital at JPS twice. I remember telling My Family on the Moto. I have had a trialing history in life and am not wanting to repeat the same mistakes. I feel better than worse and my main health concern is My Bipolar Disorder. I trust in The Lord; and My Family and Care Takers have done the best for me. 

These Are A Few of My Newly Found Motto's

Mottos are short sentences that chosen to encapsulate a belief or idea guiding an individual. I shouldn't take things as defensively as I had growing up. Meanwhile, My Thirty Fifth Birthday is still a treasured memory, as the whole day was full of mature spiritual, physical, mental, and symbolic surprises.  

Don't Be Afraid to Fail, Be Afraid to Not Try! 

Gossip fills the air; and I want to start standing up for Myself and hopefully help others. In doing so, I know I have written and established myself throughout the group home. I am trying to create a world that I love and even try some of the things to keep myself entertained, while not getting into deep over my head. I'm currently, reading The Book of Joshua and learning about Faith. With Halloween, Right around The Corner, there are surprises every day in store.

A Bad Semester or One Bad Grade Won't Define Your Future!

It hasn't been, a bad life, and I choose to stay here and am happily associating myself with my future. Although; my email seems to be hacked and I am waiting on a call from the Main Care Giver about MHMR. Maybe a huge curse by playing hacky sack, or taking daily vitamins, or the new found interest of going through new situations upon the horizon! This Subway Ad reminds me of how many people got in trouble a few times I have left to go downtown. One of My Favorite Classes was IMC Campaigns and I made an A+!

Harley Harlequin Dolls & Rock 🪨 Stars

​It’s 3:30AM; nervous systems of gossiping goals have locked 🔒 me up, again. Receipts from our last “Father & Daughter Shopping 🛒 Trip. It’s love ❤️ or money 💰 or money 💴 or fame; studies of My World 🌍 Study Bible and Bibliography aren’t thrown down the drain.

Kawasaki Piano 🎹 Played fort “The Gang!”. Jerry’s spit in my to our to crystal clear sky 🌌! The Truth; as so many things go and I simply… Wait; for My 🍒 Cherry Cola, remember Pancakes 🥞 For Brunch! Don’t glue to it, the crystals I bought. I thought 💭 silently, my sister is quaternary a snot. 

From trophies to jet 🛩 planes ✈️; we have them in store. Healthy or Not; their still begging “store!” They do or don’t need?!

Myself Monday

We're supposed to find faith in the people we can depend on; I was extremely thankful when World Bible Church; handed my caregiver and I Bible's. I don't understand, why some people would trade a whim for what matters most in their life. Educationally and Career Wise a degree in My Field, has been difficult! Though; I long to get more work out there and do not live in blame. 

Living together, . . . can feel, like a drag, . . . I have, yet, too recieve my medicine and I didn't ask My Father for more money today. I'm not, that needy, in other words I'm willing to deal with whatever The Lord Hands Me! While continuing to learn from mistakes, which I don't blame anyone because of. 

Though; I want too truly be myself! The Group Home; doesn't mean that everyone catters to your every wish and Hey! Who are they too be wishing on people, I didn't intrude on other's rights or invade personal space. I've also been here the longest, for almost eight going on ten years.   

I'm Reading, Caitlin Moran's Book "How To Be Famous!" Though I find it kind of an intimitading and futuristically irritating read personally! These blogs, that I have written which are accounted for and unaccounted for mostly went missing. I became nervous, sometime in June, when I was asked about living situations here. It's not for anyone to judge, and I can see how the words fly off the page and I do not take books that personally, although my personal goal is too finish the book by the end of the month!

Supernatural Sunday

 2 Corinthians12:9-10 [The Lord] said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. "So now I am glad to boast about My weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That's why I take pleasure in My weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For When I am weak, then I am strong. 

I have been somber in mind; which I would like to stay in my room most of the day. Cleaning and organizing my papers. Today, is my little sister's birthday, and I just realized that she turns 25 and not 28. My lil' sister and my family supported my recovery. I don't want to turn into a complete basket case, when someone gives you permission to be yourself, it shouldn't come with being angry, and the best thing I found is to give it time. 

Weaknesses; God is in more control of my life than anyone. He makes an incedible difference; I remember days when My Father and Mother, would make jokes about Him Being "Mr. Incredible!" People really do take a pride in their names and lives. I am proud to be their daughter but I am thinking about who I really want to become as my own person. 

Just too wake up, has been a struggle, though I know each day I try to accomplish something. Remembering, it's important not too give up. No Matter, how life gets, or if you have or have not accomplished your dreams, especially for me . . . My Dreams, have gotten the best of me. I don't blame my situation and am making the most out of it.

 

Tuesday's Trials

Women; tend to take their problems out on themselves. At least, I know I do, . . . I refuse to keep up with these lies. It's needed to live, . . . Money, and I did receive a nice outing of going to The Parks Mall and Going to Bowl and before that we had Pretzel's and a strawberry smoothie from "Smetzel's". I don't want to talk too much about my resume. In fact, information, has gotten so . . .

Thinking; back two hours ago, and how, Dear Dad, . . . last text "TMI"! I find it, Awesome that I could have fun for once in a while if I put my guard down and really show who I am. I find, now, why some people I grew up offended by where the way they were. We don't hang out, it mostly got me in trouble! Times, are supposed to be special and if it's just money, you find that's special it's sad. With everybody having special moments in their lives.

I wasn't trying to compare or compete, with my cellphone. It's sad, how many things I don't know about my cellphone. Yet! Alone who to really talk to but to research and find it for myself. My caregiver has stated several times that if I ever needed to talk about something, she is always there for me. 

Try This One: Closing The Gender and Racial Wage Gap! 

 

Monday Morn' Medicine

I'm staying safe, in my own part of the room, . . . The Highlight of My Weekend was going to get a fishing license at Academy with My Father. Then, going to get breakfast at Skillet N' Dinner. I appreciate, everything they've done for me. I wouldn't be able to talk about how disrespectful attitudes have surrounded me, at First I wouldn't be able too. 

Would This Be Better Than Morning Meds? JK

I'm waiting for my case worker to arrive to fill my medicine reminder. My Room-Mate bought me a lighter and I needed one, but we we're told not too smoke today.  There's a difference between being a supportive friend versus being an overbearing friend. I have not, been, downstairs in the last two hours . . . Staying out of the way. Perhaps, even feeling a bit guilty too have asked My Father for $25, Saturday during His Favorite Football Game on TV!

I am still, unsure, about The Center . . . Which, I was warned about! I wouldn't choose to make fun of disabled people, or say that they're so lonely to want to destroy or hurt themselves. My stories, should or shouldn't continue, though after all it's up too and depending mostly on personal opinion. Creative Critics, and the comfort I learn. After, An Encounter, . . . You Never Forget!  

Written Witnessing Washday

​Don’t watch your, laundry that closely, . . . We all realize these women are demanding 😥! I don’t seize to sit and amaze them, whom ever, they might be. As I notice more and more begging from every BLVD I have ever been on. Dressing properly, too my own style is important. Yes, I will keep all my clothes!

What? Is it I have done? When there’s a task, at hand . . . I try my best too get it completed! The homeowner told me, too stop 🛑 fighting it? What is it? Your Life, in which, . . . I

September Cleanup 

“If you don’t deliberately rewrite / rewire your mindset, you are destined to repeat & recreate the pain you’ve already endured!” Quote by IAY SHERRY 

1. Stop blaming other people and their parents! I respect, my parents and myself. I don’t spit back wards hurting drama 🎭 

2. Stop paying attention too how much others are spending on themselves!

3. It’s time together that I had fun with “legally”!

Almost Sums It Up

​When you’re asked, to share something . . . So personal / Do you stay friends or foes with it! It’s almost, as if the church ⛪️ had demanded that 🤮 child of … Mine! I’m glad he is safe & I have the 

It’s another situation, where I just took . . . My Medication 💊 & Again, I am hearing commentary and a bitter battle too become better! 

I was thinking about what “My Purpose…” is going too be, where they rudely interrupted… Any purchasing power of “My Dad is the best possible solution to…

Toxic Body Spills

 The human cycle of what; happens when you find a random individual, in the streets and all your friends and family find out you have slept with them. Can really mess up an individual's life. At Mesa Springs, they asked me, if I had Sexual Experiences that have created torment. Sometimes, I like to visit Hospitals in DFW & it has been more my things than going to the old True Worth Bldg. 

Growing up; on the streets I never really did want to keep count but yes a lot of these girls are rape victims. I haven't really noticed it on myself but I pray for all women's safety of what I just found on my wallpaper. I like how ... I am staying safe but I remember August 12th 2018; when I faced the crucial constapated problem and yes when people come chasing . . . you & me . . . for sex. I count the many blessings I do have, which go beyond personal belongings. Though even this morning I was tempted because I saw some of my old clothing on one of my room mates.

As everything has gotten expensive, I remember that I have been celebent for 22 month's! I don't brag about it! I also know that what I saw at These  

Wash Day Wednesday

I'm being thankful; but I don't want to slip into a family, or organizational trap. I stare at this pack of Crowns being grateful . . . I woke up and did My Laundry, as soon as I woke up. When things appear more than they are. I am blessed by all the help, I receive. 

At 2:15PM; My Good Case Worker drove me to Mesa Springs. She filled out my form to go into the hospital, and yeah the back and forth tugging from cops isn't all that! My sister; just admitted that she pushed those cops to make me pay my working money. I learned Today; buying "Camel Crush" Teal on the outside and red, magenta on the inside [63E9206] 19 Boxes. Which is where respect came from to observe how our sports fields where! When I went to the hospital; since I went and opened   

Thoughtful Tuesday

Remembering; the past can hurt! When I turned 35 Years Old, this year . . . 51 Days Ago!  I appreciate what I have and each morning; I would have been able to recognize it, until June 6th 2022, This has been; better to worse, and worse than better . . . Based on personal, which means . . . I don't get into everything *Automatically !!! After Mass Media and Journalism 1, did equal age 18 years . . . At Texaco! I need to understand my own situation and I will drop it! In the first place  I have been saving up towards a bitter battle which I told myself I wouldn't go into. 

I've known they lied about me my whole life and hosting events is a Public Relations seated seat and desk. . . 

Also Known As : Achy Breaky Heart! Is it seems they wanted to destroy everything and anything it came to My 

Phillipian's 1 : 9 - 11 NIV

And this is my prayer; that your 

 

I Choose To Forgive & Let Them Understand Me! When I arrive in a situation, I don't need to run away, I walked by faith for my last seven excursions. From; The Texas Wesleyan Soccer Fields = First Stop. I'm knowing these couples are after me and praying for them to stop. 

I don't talk about my Dad's Business; . . . Which has been both weeks 

Saturday To Sunday Friends

 Through all of this; we continue to be individuals stuck in a group home, together, and even when where not friends, we try our best to get along. Living in a trapped field of comradaries; realizes which ones they were and are. Thanks for our week; as I finished off your statement of 

"I/You Will Never Be A Mature Adult Woman If You Don't Pay For It!" I don't always, allow myself to sit as precautious or as harmful as I am right now. Maybe; I asked for money? love? respect? I am tired of writing names and pointing the finger at anyone but myself. Yes; I had a good breakfast, sat down to drink coffee, and have been in the same comfortable clothes all weekend. I'm lucky for anything . . . I do have!

It's a little bit before eight o'clock, when I woke up! Looking to be more informed today and keep myself on current news. I smoked at 8AM and The Group Caregiver . . . arrived at Our Hightower House and had treasures of pretzel rods and caramel popcorn. Then I drank a cup of coffee . . . As If I Were At Starbucks!

Then I smoked; two more cigarettes and had my medication. I haven't recieved any fashionable items in a while. I am trustworthy but lately it's about being cautious! In fact; with inflation and my last purchase of a $25 vaporizer. I don't want to hear about one more person being lustful into  

Healthy Worlds ... What is healthy skin and mostly a racial target is that I am Caucasian. I filled out my form correctly too enter anything I have ever attained and joined.  

Accident Crisis

Extreme cost of inflation that we are going through as a community. 

Vehichle Accidents

1. Chevy Z71

JF 

Prissing In My Name

 Even I need . . . What Else? Many Girls, have caused me drama, in the last year. Slipping their teeth, well, at least I can have a little money!?! My attitude, hasn't been appropriate, as these black care givers can be very manipulative. Using better and mire protective accusations. To almost, anything I have. I have heard nothing but transitional wallets; and when I replied to My Father and bought a $25 ElfBar Vaporizer. That one of the caregiver's had put their secret whisper into. I can tell I was being used and it really does hurt bringing that up ... constantly, Though they do this on purpose of piss! Sept 19th 2022!

It's Friday; and yeah! I won't be seeing My Father, this weekend. I feel like I'm in my original old room and these are grouped out puffs, which the device . . . was too expensive! In fact; everything is too expensive right now. I am hesitant . . . to call my caseworker, and I know they aren't my personal everything but these classes and courses mean everything to me. It's a choice, to get into a conversation, and yeah Public Relations is what I had and so is Advertising.

California Mud Slide

 Yes . ..  I Remember; working for these Churches! Coffee Bar and I do know . . . Fight Club!!! I was about 6; When I heard this story about Geography! Through that and that and that !!! What is that and that and that?! Yes I have had a really hard time understanding these questions; as after they begged for all my cars and they we're able to set them back. They started pushing and pully and even prying ... almost everything! One Simple Tip! $50,000 in the whole of a statement to My College isn't their transmission. I'm mighty offended at what these people talked and gossiped about! No More Trying On My Computer & No More Trading or Purchasing Off My Phone! Yes; Everyone since, long before my 35th Birthday, has asked for while pecking an offensive question about AM I IT "Toy!" & I AM IT "Your Sex Object"!!! 

Is The Way They Asked For College Students! Since 05" Today we heard that we paid off a lot of it! ThenMe and Mrs. Cookie went for a drive, I always have appreciated anything I had in front of my face and the people surrounding me! Though; when I sit down . . . The seats where very messy "My Senior Year!" they tried to swap and spit on their ever liver living student! My Group Home Care Giver helped me by buying me a Cafe Latte Slush and I mixed them with my cigarettes " Red & Green Crush " and and "My Food.Plate!" and "Royal Candy Crushed Cigarettes" ... Which I Am Actually A Robot!

The world is very unsafe; when the world gets messed up from that much drama. I am being protective of where I am Knowing "My Better Friends Are At!" & "My Better Bought Items Are!" Before The Main Care Giver Arrives Back ... May I Admit; that I'm glad too see one that has been here longer and I don't need to cause a big fussy fit! Though; every piece of clothing, my exercises, my vaporizer, and my things have and haven't been messed with! 

The Main Thing Is . . . I did listen too 20 to 40 people and No I didn't try to reach out to money or bodies or drugs or anything from Suicide Squad and Gurls Illegally!   

Finding Myself Through Trails of Trash

 I still work on + "Our Relationships"; as everything does align and I have been blogging since I was 12. These house worker's, may or may not, be lying... Which includes Governmental Officials & Court Appointed Attorney's only listening to Charnel. In 2013, I was moved to Mim's St. and soon started Texas Wesleyan; which no I didn't have time to go to this play and they asked why not. I didn't have every friend I wanted and Today; I walked to Sky's, and was nice and polite and said "Yes, sweetheart ... You are a better singer than me!" it was a request ... That Degrassi, wanted this cleaned up ... 

 My Astronomy Professor to My Environmental Science Professor! Carrying Our Geography @Projectials of Our Streets! Why should I have to clean up my act 50,000 times as General Hospital pours out of the Counseling Office at UTA! I was asked to clean it up! I've drank and sat and smoked with no credentials is where are mine. Typing 95 words per minute to soundtracks as Dr. Whittier pushed me first too UTA.  

Though when I called my History of Mississippi's Grand-Ma, Who went to Grambling! Politely asked me to watch over this house and old odd jobs and my current events papers. I don't complain about this work as teachers around my son's school simply discovered me at the front entrance at His Labor Day   Don't make up these stories. You are supposed to walk in your own shoes. These Promoters and Carriers; gifts better not be caught in and underneath these keys. Which; I found out today "My Mommy" is taking Photography which translated too me as "Photo Journalism". 

Which I heard way too much drama came from my working habits.  I have gone and gotten good sleep; as I remember every evening I called my family out on a telephone in SpringWood, Millwood, Mesa Springs, and Locked Up JPS. I try to love everything I do to the best of my abilities ... I know this new worker who has been here for three months, is from Delias'. What?! I got yesterday, was my Co-Vid19 shot and flu shot. As I showed scars and scar-face from what I pointed out to a nurse at a court trial. Dear Dad; they remain your friends but never kick me out of your *Point!!! 

The first thing on my IPhone; when My Father and I bought from a stimulus check #2 "A New" IPhone. As the worker, helped me, he caught way more than I can bargan for. Are these accidents or intentions, I longed for my own spot at The Soaped out Starlet at 13. I walked the Boulverade 

Once We Did

 No ... I'm really not laughing at what, ex sexualism "or exochorisian" has done. Neither am I obsessed with the days I spent by the transit system that did churn and turn me to "I wanted you a good, student." is what most of our socialites had stated. Though right now, My Sister In Law and I are dealing with David & Goliath! Trying to gain our, respect in the world.

Around the Arlington Life Shelter ... The News; from a younger age group ... that got selected. Which I had my days when I was about fresh out of Joey's Pizza Shop working hard for The Mafia. The woman, that In younger years ... I had feared, Finally let me do what I wanted; these AP Government papers came from a lot more than I can express as an underground writer. Though it's up to us too continue this path.

Imagining, life to get better if and only if; I go to college. I no longer, remember my professors at these colleges. As I know, many of us have made, mistakes, we are not proud of. To simply stay in your seat and continue the test on the day they shifted 27 students on UTA campus.

When I was 16; after an argument with My Father; I ran under bridges and climbed over trains. Which; a lot of the mature crowd was saying I was doing the right thing. As long, as I find in myself that I am doing the right things since "My 35th Birthday!". Of this year, I commederate as me and the sleeping giant compare grades. How the heck did I go from a 4.0 to a 2.3 and am still craving more education, paying it off, and don't forget the cute Fashionable things my mom started to give me on Saturday of Labor Day Weekend.

Which; I wasn't able to stay to slay, and they hosted us at Dallas Homeless Shelter and I mostly study in my room. We can make it better #2478 & ...  

Friday Starts In Fall

Listening; Is a required skill . . . I didn't want to reach . . . for my tooth brush "Zena" as I passed Astronomy out of Jail; which is actually a decent place to go. I need my frienemy to stop that door and trying to cut my heal! These things I wanted should have came for me to recieve and trips that a lot of people have paid for as they are not too truthful! Peter Pan; CoCommander & Dad at Nacho's that talked to teeth. We tried to pretend that wasn't happening as my dad went off too war again!  That far, but I had. I am disabled and I stayed up last night working on and in my room. I'm so glad to try a new Vapor shop at Artisan Vapor's. What happens, behind closed doors, is what I know about myself and I am doing the best I can. Maybe; this has become to competitive. 

It's September 2nd 2022! They're still, shouting . . . about, the same things, again."... But It's All In MY Head ... I'll Sing It Over & Over Again!" Frozen is just a movie; if I took that much college, it's my job too pay it back. Starting The Age of 6; When My Dad and His Boss set a laptop in the upstairs story where we found mostly the big fight! From when I worked at Wal-Mart to a new box of health care supplies I purchased with $128! From My Own #4534 Health Identification Placement Holder ID! When they all got upset; I didn't take my pain out on other people! 

Rules To How My Entrance Of What It Was: 

1. How to treat people better!

2. How to create your own design 

Towards A Target

 I am sitting here; knowing close and closer to what I am, and maybe am getting closer too. Something started when I was 11 years old & I have remained an underdog, even too my own hard work. Hopefully; I can get to the bottom of what I am thinking, feeling, and missing. While I turn my life around, but let me tell you locked inside of a group home off and on, going on eight years has been tough. 

Lately; I heard, we have grown up, past this, so please do not put it back in my face. We're back to a regular smoke schedule. It's up to me, that I choose to move on from my past and make sure life experiences like running away and getting raped don't happen to me again. As, I also remember, that It's not my job to save everyone! 

August 11th 2022
Through The Work I Have Done (c)

I don't and won't bring up old topics; only things that we can and will work on in the future, to make this a better place. 

By staying safer, ... and supportive and continuing in good grace with my family. 

God is my Best Friend; and in this environment I would 

Social Security Safe

I was known as a "People Pleaser" . . . For most of My Educated Classes; starting on the first day of My Life. All secrets don't need to be bluntly stated and some are better left unsaid. It's Wednesday, and Mrs. Cookie; arrived, last night we had a no bake cheese-cake, with a large splash of cherries and graham cracker crust. I remember how expensive those where to make.  

I was a 3.8GPA to a 2.3GPA Student and they better fix it! 

Tarrant County MHMR

This Morning; I woke up at 8AM, I felt groggy. We had cereal for breakfast, Cosmic Brownies, they we're very good. I haven't written in a while and I am trying to continue to do good and stay in a good mood.

Although; things like my purple ashtray breaking and a kind friend saying they'd replace it. Then looking at how I refilled my water jar, that I got from a resale shop, the entire reticent was $11.97.  It's that time of a month again and I'm fully supplied for myself with pads. 

My Father bought me new vapor juice last week Black Cherry and Sweet Strawberries. Although; I know that the charger for My Vaporizer is completely torn up. I am hoping and praying that I can buy another Vaporizer. I do need to get it from another shop besides Luxor's. My Luxuries and most precious items are being requested by other women.  

We're all doing the best we can... My phone hasn't gone off! I didn't want my awesome and lifestyle to get me in anymore bad situations. Agreeing with My Own Parents and enjoying what I do have. In a long time and their stating . . . I'm too young to really try to add anything else, too, try to take care of myself. 

I willingly forgive yourself and myself; but I am trying not too worry. I grew up a soldier daughter and a Governments daughter. Though; now the choices they are handing me. Do I know as a 35 year old woman if they are good for me or not?

Morning To Movement & Mornings

 We continued and continue to grow these Tribes. I can Sing from AKA's "Achy Breaky Little Heart". All the way from when I went to Dallas at @PinkFloyd. I'm happy this village of Meadow Brook is . . . 

What kind of Hairspray? Tapioca . . .Is . . . 18 Months Old. Thank You; everyone who contributes and serves as I continue to type . . . write . . . plan. While growing, with the rest of whatever I dropped off. It's a learned and learning TRAIT! 

Sunday's Service

I remember what today is and I grew up in a good Christian Home. I remember helping homeless people while under My Father's Protection. These War Stories; are very true and together we can help each other without asking for sexual favors. One night, partying, on a selected by My Father's hand when he bought me . . . Coffee Select.

Just because "German Hunger" gave us that ideology, when I lost "The War Room" Passages by the way is one of the scariest scriptural things I have read. Then "The Night Time Clubs" also read "The Secret" I got ran off from my parents home. Maybe it was in my bad idea to save these prostitutes. Maybe it was in my bad idea to save these Veterans? But more importantly . . . My Senior Year Grades. 

When I bought my "Red Razzberry Faygo" and "Navy Sealed Times" for Goodfellas. I grew up from "South Oaks Baptist Church" in Kennedale -to- "First Baptist Church of DeRidder" . . . I question myself and he also asked me to keep both of our secrets in it. I kindly stated that is almost impossible with that many people surrounding our highschools.  

When I buy something I normally don't trash it, and my tolerance can only go, and before it kills me, I put myself in personal restraint, Which I was sat down too at my 35th German Birthday. I am proud of my parents but these streets have plaid too many tricks to our indie rock and roll. Though, I knew about "Fight Club" and it's about all this lust  

Those days of Highschool are over; with a mess of incoming freshmen. The rudest topic to talk about is money. It's not like I really like sharing either and God has given us all the power of forgiveness and redemption. 

Top Of It Tuesday

​When I was younger; I did do a lot of babysitting. Though I hardly remember it! Waking up at 7:30AM to sit outside with my group and smoke. It’s a whole month that we, aren’t going to the center.

Our caregiver; handed us our medication and is about to hand us in

August Argues

​It’s the start of a new month; as beautiful leaves 🍁 are falling and we’re waiting to drink some coffee. As it is "Monday & Wednesday & Friday 10AM To 8AM on 6th and 9th Floor" and I had an awesome ending to My Birthday Month. Which was sorta taken and scattered and kept demanding me too work! As people stole from 78 purses 16 backpacks and 92 pairs of shoes! Until all five of my cars we're I am from those; and it takes all of Group 5 from 2015! I don't own #5 Key as My Aqi - Which People Have Taken Care Of Me All My Life. 

The most challenging thing; about last month is the comments about my writing we’re asked to be made personal. 

This Month, I am requesting, that I stay determined 👩‍🎓. While also being Inspired, Motivated, and Resilient. 

Silent Saturday

 Reporting from one class; is not an easy job. To have that many chicken fingers is a luxury. I've had five cups of coffee, two from the house and three from "Skillet N' Dinner". Although, I am cute and I didn't need that expensive contact lens box to get stolen. My Father; said they we're eight hundred dollars, he brought them to the Presbyterian Night Shelter. Along with my Hot Pink Doc Martins. As the guy who picked me up at Spring Wood; tried to get engaged to me, and his spirit is mean. In fact; a lot of the spiritual battles come from what course to course track record I had since I was 14.

My Father; bought me three packs of cigarettes and my primary house care giver did tell me not to share. Waking up; to fashion modeling isn't as much fun as it was when I was 15. The club flyers still remain although they don't last like everlasting go stoppers. Going to college; from McNeese to UTA, with stepping stops from all compasses four steps of Myan's side part of our house. 

When I grew up; I was very close to My Family! Though; time will tell, is no way to leave me in the middle of my book. Which on the back says ATSD; though where do we get our mulla? 

Will Windows Widows Watch Themselves

 Hackers are the craziest things; and I feel in my personal opinion that determined students have found a way to work around it like I have. My parents 

15 Red Crayons Go Spiraling

Thanks to the accelerator drink; mango and orange {2.70 pesos} . . . I feel like my sister's regret has gone away or maybe we can demolish all this FAFSA loan all together. People are there to help and it's true you have to speak up for yourself. My Dad called and He is taking me to eat breakfast. Though Red Colors are all I have noticed today; since that is what I brought. I've been out of the hospital two weeks so far and when I stood up my leg could have otherwise felt paralyzed.

The Profile's had to change and information had to be swapped as graciously as it could have. 

At this moment; I have been thankful for the walk around the block. I remember my first car; and how one of my first boyfriends and I stopped at Texaco to buy drinks and cigarettes, and how lucky I felt when the 14 years of growth, I played tennis back then and I had good friends.

Though When We Remember "Our Friends"; we don't always describe what state we are in.

Now that 10 minutes past 8 o'clock; and never forgetting where I come from. A nice trip to Downtown Fort Worth Library; would be nice. Now that I finished my drink; and just had a cigarette. I am sitting here on Friday as I grew up in a nice household. Though comparing properties as well as trading books on Wall-Street from the age of 16. 

The Water Gardens where my favorite and I don't try to be anyone but myself. Through thick and thin; I am always there for you. Stepping away from my laptop; I had four managers on my smoke breaks at Millwood. 

Remembering Taylor's Farm to Mistro's City Council to Mrs. Cheryl's city council. Also; where my name is landing in the PRSA realm and ADVT group. I have not wanted to work on Linked In; as far as my resume goes. Though; for some reason something is giving me "Staff Disorder" and primarily on my Amerigroup I am bipolar type 1; orange and mango.

I come from a place, where water isn't cheap and honestly I didn't like that My Dad and I had gotten a phone call as soon as I got out of jail to go to this group home but I'm better off here than I am anywhere else in the worldly war. 

How my good friends; at the center united and had a good week. Things escalate; and they do have better morals after I remember I went to Texas Wesleyan and my dream was to play soccer. Though, I couldn't because I had a Shin Splint at the age of 13.

Eighth of A Third

​It’s 8 o’clock and I just received five till five cigarettes as a director of the group home. This has been an interesting journey and we just arrived at The Lions Center! I am grateful even though I don’t have as many cigarettes and wires drawing out.

I’m waiting patiently for my breakfast and coffee. While the steps of order prevail me. I’m grateful but also half way reading and my goals mostly sounded out of reach.

J-J Day : Just 4 at 4th of July

 When I walk up and down anti-depressants; I feel calm like I walked with that cane! Thanks for the Godly gifts to the godly gifts. To our "Vocal Cord" at the Fort Worth Public Library and Thinking about my Grandmother's Lifestyle! When my own Mother holds the ropes to Aunt Guest to Mrs. Asked a Q Ball. IMBD Books & Dad's Library!  

Today I got  3D to WD - 30; Certificate to your right or left drawer. He is arrested for and from his heart! Chicken Noodle Soup for The Soul books and I wanted my Hymnal. Kept in the Governments Arms and Army! Support Our Survivor's From Afghanistan. How we battled in and out of the Bibles;  

Cleaning Up The After Mood Math

​Smoldering my toothbrush to my plated : teeth and coffee and cigarettes to keep myself clean 🧽! I’m in and out of the lineup’s! My “New PPL”; as I read Jenna Blum’s ❤️🥩 and the answer was to keep Gina Robert’s my “Strategic Communication Course”!

Empathy of Empty Grocery Sacks; as a worker in the background of our SAM-S! Competition too our College Desktop 🖥! My A B Grade Pointed Average from Tech to Tech!! 

Eating spicy spaghetti with grinder meat at vitamins every morning. I have 345 / $20! Dad said “Don’t Worry About It!!!” THX . . . BLD! 1/3 CUPS of Sugar & my parents’

Meals For & From MillWood

​One of my best caseworkers drove around our group and picked me up at MillWood. I’m two packs and four packs closer. My vaporizer is required for recruitment and training for my family is very supportive but we are slowly dividing slowly. It’s a red Nissan centra! 

I started my bloody stamping pads about three days ago. I have kept my book bleeding through my memory as I laid in my hospital bed. Meanwhile; I wrote and unwritten rules. I’m sitting in the back yard again and I’m right the more they found out 

Hello Church Party Parents

​Haven’t read nor wrote; my real daddy’s war story in a pure week. How was I sitting comfortably in the stories he should’ve told. They should have told the sailors we came to help a convention center with the coffee. My Father’s Day $”Stressed Me Out!” If I don’t keep smoking them I’ll just die’! 

My bestie died of cigarettes and it’s there in my vehicles trying to do the nastiest stuff I have ever seen. They were talking about “snack food” as if I had to Fuck MyStudentAid Self. As a McDonald’s McNeese 4.0 Student; then I did it.

I’m getting my injection today at True Mental Health! Good Morning!!! 

Six Sick Sunday

​I just made a new Pinterest Board with the title of Overcomer! I haven’t been able to sleep all night and the company of pets; sitting on the bed with my family’s cat Hymn! I need to pay greater attention to details and I am concerned about how much we smoke.

I’m sorry little one; but to be a veterinarian, you will have to do better. I’m tired of making excuses for myself and I have and haven’t made the situation worse or better. For the longest time I have been sitting in neutral without moving forward nor backwards.

My next counseling appointment is July First and I asked the family if we could go play putt putt for my birthday. The truth is there’s a lot of sarcasm and picking on each other in my family; close and distant relatives. There’s also competition and I seem too win my dad’s favor often and I am so glad he loves his, son, his grandson.

The beta fish; is in the lighted aquarium and it’s Father’s Day! My family is the greatest thing I have in my life and earlier, yesterday, as me and dad smoked our packs together, we talked about old memories. My dad is a War Veteran and an Engineer. I asked him twice if at the building he works at does Public Relations and he said yes! We talked about how much money I owe the student loan program and I said I was willing to do whatever it took.

It’s 5:32AM and I made a cup of instant coffee and smoked even after they went too sleep. I’m not trapped and I’m not a prisoner; or a victim; but behaving like I have for the past eight years isn’t going to cut it. Acting like a know it all is a very inappropriate attitude and I miss some of the friends my dad and I had in the past. Things can get ugly quickly when others make fun of peoples PTSD.

Any mental health issue is a tough subject; as many things that are worth it in life are difficult. I’m half way in between my book “The Lost Family” and I have really enjoyed reading this year. My Mom said she is taking German, Comm Tech, and two other classes in the fall. The caseworker this week gave me the number to University of Texas at Arlington Advisor Number and I know I have to be mature and call them. Which I will probably on Wednesday.

Staying active in my pursuit despite these set backs is really what I want to learn. I have in my planner this week that I am preparing to write about Self Love 💕! Though the more that I appreciate my own writing the better everything seems to be.

Super Saturday

​It’s ten minutes till three; my dad is making us a pitcher of coffee and we got haircuts this morning. I’m sipping on my coffee and I have had too many cups to count. Since 6:30AM; when my roommate and I woke up, craving coffee. I’m a recovering addict and I have to stay close to my mental health help.

My caregiver let me take my meds in the reminder box and my dad picked me up at 10AM. Most of the people at “The Group Home”; stayed at the house this weekend and I am glad that my father and I have a close relationship. The elderly caregiver showed up at 8AM and I had my medicine and she fixed me two cups of coffee. I tried not too pester her to much when she was making breakfast.

My son is loving “Transformers Bot Bots” and I must agree, my family is a lot better with him, than I am. I’m here for him but not fully engaging. They even have a show about the toys. My dad is encouraging him to spend time with me; it’s been mostly my fault and I am here for both of them.

I gave my dad the book I read about a month ago; “The Night Portrait”. I’m 

Fearless Friday

​It’s the end of the week and I am glad it’s Friday. Sitting at the table inside the center and waiting for a cup of coffee. I had three cups of coffee this morning and opened my fourth pack of cigarettes. Drank a cup of coffee and ate a bowl of cereal. It was my second bowl of cereal and I am hoping to get a second cup of coffee. Though the lady watching the center said I would have to wait.

My caseworker stated theirs better things to spend my money on other than cigarettes. My dad was happy; he wouldn’t have to buy me anymore cigarettes when I go see him this weekend. I have six packs of Lucky Strikes left and I just stepped outside to smoke one cigarette and took a couple of puffs of my vaporizer. Waiting for a second cup of coffee and trying to understand where I wrote on today’s plans to research FEAR.

Fear Of The Unknown; and How I Want To Be Comfortable Here.

I’m slowly recovering from my negative past and learning things don’t always go my way. The lady in charge said there wasn’t any coffee left. That’s alright and I’m grateful for the coffee I have received this morning. The more grateful I am the better things get and I find myself not wasting away as much. 

I have generalized anxiety disorder and have had my fair share of panic attacks in the past. God cares enough about us to provide a way through. Sure, my anxiety attack at UTA wasn’t fun and sent me to the hospital for two weeks and I accumulated a lot of financial debt from dropping out. 

Though I am reminded in Isaiah 41:10 “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you in my righteous hand. The center is closed on Monday; and I will be spending the weekend with my family.

It’s important that I know that my mental health is more important than college and money. My comfort and receiving the help from caregivers is important and I don’t have to rush the future. Taking one step a day and not overwhelming myself and also to keep taking my medicine and staying calm. I’m nervous about how my sister and son might treat me but I know it’s going to be a good “Father’s Day Weekend”!

Fear Of Limiting Beliefs; or laziness and being overwhelmed.

I shouldn’t compare myself to other’s or live in a fantasy world where I am not prepared to live. I have stated my Limited Beliefs in a previous post and one thing that is important is that we all get along as a family this weekend. 

I’m reminded in Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Ways To Overcome These Fears and Starting On My Journey To Succeed.

Thrive on Thursday

​I woke up at 6:30AM; took my medicine and smoked a cigarette, then went back to sleep till 8AM. The new caregiver who has worked a few days, arrived. In the last hour I have had two cups of coffee and three cigarettes. It’s 9AM and our ride to the center just called and said she was on her way to pick us up.

It’s another hot 🥵 day and I am sipping on my first hot cup of coffee and eating my second bowl of cereal. At the house I had a bowl of Cheerios & now at the center I’m eating a bowl of Fruit Loops. Thinking about what I watch going on here at the center and how I am being able to see my family this weekend.

Thrive; means to grow vigorously, to flourish, to gain in wealth or possessions, to prosper, to progress towards or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances. 

I received a call saying that I have an appointment next week on Tuesday the 21st at 2PM, with my PCP. I’m going to be at my family’s house till Monday which is June Tenth; my caregiver has celebrated this holiday a lot and my father is taking off work. Smoked a cigarette and fifteen puffs of my vaporizer; my IPhone acted goofy and I lost what I wrote and had to restart my phone. 

My caseworker came by yesterday and read my blog and some of the notes & commented on my artwork. She was really impressed and said good things about my work. She might come by today and take me to “The Downtown Fort Worth Water Gardens”! Thinking of ways I can thrive by doing what I am doing through writing.

I haven’t been able to read the chapter of the book I am reading “The Lost Family”; the model is cheating on her husband with the tennis 🎾 couch and it’s full of drama. For the most part I stay away from drama but my mom knows that when I was in my twenties I definitely shared in on the drama. I’m grateful that my life is calmer now but I still wish I could do something more productive with my life.

Sitting here at the center; where we are, and finding things to fill my time.

Why We’re Wednesday

​I post the articles that I have read on Pinterest and Twitter. I started college in 05” when I was 15 years old. I’m gratefully connected to The Center and it’s my place of safety; good people, mostly workers, keep us in line and they patiently wait for us to complete our day here. I’m not the one to talk too much and I have just walked back in from smoking two cigarettes and my coffee cup got thrown away.

This blog and although I don’t have a domain and excellent web hosted JohnnaFloyd.Com blog on Wordpress.com; as I haven’t renewed my Wordpress website subscription because of limited financial funds. I take pride in my work and I have been writing since I was 12. That’s when I went into the hospital and needed a spinal tap. I’m diagnosed as bipolar schizophrenia and severe depression seeing a psychiatrist since I had my accident.

I’m planning things to do in the future and hopefully my passion to create a purposeful and creative career in writing; and developing more on Public Relations and Advertising. I know I didn’t graduate and I have had offers to go back to school and am waiting to know what to do with the school loans I have accumulated. I can’t just throw in the towel and give up; I am thirty-four and retired in retail sales.

Something in online customer support, maybe? I struggle to build relationships and I “Know” that eventually something always comes up and God knows my future. Writing has really opened up doors to me knowing myself better and the support and following will come in timing. Knowing that others are busy and being ok with whatever God blesses me with. 

Knowing my parents still support me and I forgot to put Dr. Pepper’s in the fridge this morning. I see my caseworker tomorrow and only have fifteen dollars and don’t want to spend any money. This weekend I am looking forward to spending time with my family. We are hopefully able too exchange the shorts with “Mickey Mouse” for a pair of XL shorts since they’re a M. Which don’t fit me and I wore the sweatpants that say “Hello Kitty” that my sister got me for Christmas.

I’m wanting a better relationship with my sister’s and I will be an aunt soon; my little sister’s time with my son and hoping the relationship with them improves. The more I stay stable and at the group home doing what I am supposed too, the better life will get. I’m proud that I don’t blame anyone and there’s support for mental illness. I’m surrounded by things that make life easier and my mom says too chose my battles wisely.

The idea of starting a magazine and working with mental health resources; has been stated. Knowing that the lady in charge of the day program is also a Minister’s Wife. I have barely started a career for myself and I haven’t worked since I retired from Walmart on RSDI. JF-Design’s and CoDesign and learning more and being persistent and finding ways I can move forward the right way. 

We just ate lunch; chicken fried steak in the microwave and mashed potatoes and green beans. I’m also sipping on my cup of tea and it’s an hour till we smoke and I have six more cigarettes before opening the third pack of Lucky 🍀 Strikes, my dad bought me a carton. I am looking forward to eating steak 🥩 with my family for Father’s Day. Having something to look forward to, really helps and the lady in charge said we will play Bible Trivia soon.

Would On Wednesday

​In the last hour I have drank about six cups of coffee and; I have two jars of instant coffee I bought at the “Dollar Tree”. As well as the big jar of instant coffee my father had bought me this weekend. I’m talking with my housemate’s and the roses 🥀 my father bought are thrown away. Remembering; that Father’s Day is this weekend and dad is coming to pick me up on Saturday. 

It’s also Laundry Day today; I wasn’t the first wash load and there’s five people to do laundry and we also just arrived at The Lions Center. It’s by a house that I was visiting when I had a hard time being sober and recently got torn down. I’ve seen some people on the streets and I am grateful I got away from that kind of life. I’m doing better and it’s been ten months since I last walked away. I’m looking at a coloring page and the coloring pencils set out before me by one of the workers. 

Is today the day to color? I’m also thinking about my sketchbook and the adult coloring books I brought with me. Waiting for breakfast and a cup of coffee. We are told to sit down in our chairs at the table. My planners set out before me and my housemate asked if I would write about our time at the center. The worker just announced she would be bringing our coffee and I have helped before; for about three years I was a waitress.

Today I know I haven’t made excuses for myself and there’s some in here way more mentally sick than myself. I don’t even know what I can say but I have written in my planner; when you connect to your big why you’ll stay on the track towards creating the life you really want to be living! I’ll save the topic of; connecting to my why, for the next post and just relax? 

I also wrote that I need meditation and it will add understanding to my “know”. Getting to the “Spiritual & Intellectual Growth” through allowing truths, insight, and principles change my perspective to better my life. I’m sitting here looking at the coloring page of what seems to be a Polly Pocket doll sitting at a table and chair, like I am, and it says “Let’s meet at the cafe.” I am remembering faces I have met in the past. 

Too much coffee can make your stomach hurt but no one has told me that I drank too much coffee and I haven’t eaten anything for breakfast. I have a pack of cigarettes in my purse and it has ten cigarettes in the pack and I also brought my vaporizer but there’s little to no charge on the Aegis Vaporizer filled with Chic 40mg e-juice. It’s the eighth vaporizer I have had and I have had it since Mother’s Day 21”. 

Tuesday’s Tune

​Drinking my second cup of coffee! I love coffee and cigarettes and we’re waiting for our ride to the center. I am glad to have our housemate back from the hospital. Sitting at the kitchen table and we are both quiet which is good and it seems he/she is feeling much better. I haven’t been in the hospital, all year, and I appreciate that people have noticed I have been doing better than last year. Around this time last year, I was in the hospital four times half way towards the end of the year.

Drinking my third cup of coffee and smoked a cigarette with my housemate. The guy worker is playing music 🎶 on his phone in the room where only workers can sit. The lady in charge of the center still hasn’t called and we’re waiting for her. It’s 8:30AM and I have been awake since 6:30AM. I don’t have much of a morning routine and have read several good ideas. What do you do in the morning that helps? 

We’re at The Lions 🦁 Center and it’s ten minutes till ten. Waiting for breakfast and I am going through Twitter and Pinterest and cutting out the people who I don’t want to follow. Having bravery to get rid of negative energy on social media and I have twice as many people I follow and only a few people following me on social media. Drinking another cup of coffee and about to go smoke a cigarette. 

Drinking a cup of tea and made an 11:11 wish that I could start a career with social media and do well for myself. I have been on Twitter this morning and read several articles on growing traffic. It would be great if I had a following and people liked my blog. I’m still paying attention to Spiritual & Intellectual Growth and am learning about boundaries. It’s lunch time and we’re having sandwiches 🥪!