Would On Wednesday

​In the last hour I have drank about six cups of coffee and; I have two jars of instant coffee I bought at the “Dollar Tree”. As well as the big jar of instant coffee my father had bought me this weekend. I’m talking with my housemate’s and the roses 🥀 my father bought are thrown away. Remembering; that Father’s Day is this weekend and dad is coming to pick me up on Saturday. 

It’s also Laundry Day today; I wasn’t the first wash load and there’s five people to do laundry and we also just arrived at The Lions Center. It’s by a house that I was visiting when I had a hard time being sober and recently got torn down. I’ve seen some people on the streets and I am grateful I got away from that kind of life. I’m doing better and it’s been ten months since I last walked away. I’m looking at a coloring page and the coloring pencils set out before me by one of the workers. 

Is today the day to color? I’m also thinking about my sketchbook and the adult coloring books I brought with me. Waiting for breakfast and a cup of coffee. We are told to sit down in our chairs at the table. My planners set out before me and my housemate asked if I would write about our time at the center. The worker just announced she would be bringing our coffee and I have helped before; for about three years I was a waitress.

Today I know I haven’t made excuses for myself and there’s some in here way more mentally sick than myself. I don’t even know what I can say but I have written in my planner; when you connect to your big why you’ll stay on the track towards creating the life you really want to be living! I’ll save the topic of; connecting to my why, for the next post and just relax? 

I also wrote that I need meditation and it will add understanding to my “know”. Getting to the “Spiritual & Intellectual Growth” through allowing truths, insight, and principles change my perspective to better my life. I’m sitting here looking at the coloring page of what seems to be a Polly Pocket doll sitting at a table and chair, like I am, and it says “Let’s meet at the cafe.” I am remembering faces I have met in the past. 

Too much coffee can make your stomach hurt but no one has told me that I drank too much coffee and I haven’t eaten anything for breakfast. I have a pack of cigarettes in my purse and it has ten cigarettes in the pack and I also brought my vaporizer but there’s little to no charge on the Aegis Vaporizer filled with Chic 40mg e-juice. It’s the eighth vaporizer I have had and I have had it since Mother’s Day 21”.