Thursday ‘More: Treats

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Good Morning and today I have to get my *Depakote levels checked and I have $83 in EBT 🍱 FSC! I have only $10 in *Venmo… b/c I bought 3 (cases) of Diet Pepsi/Dr. Pepper,… a bag of Jolly Ranchers & Albatross Gummy Bears & ice 🧊 pops. So far My Father has said that that’s my money 💴 & be careful with it.

He arrived at one o’clock and took me to ‘Krogers by TCU & by now my we fifteen minutes into shopping & spending $32.89 we used the self checkout together & I 🧠💵 bought this. Then we went to ‘Baylor Hospital 🏥 we couldn’t find the vehicle's and I had to get six vilest of blood 🩸.

Alex to Alex to AWOL; about a girl's paycheck...

Willing On Wednesday

​I have been writing in my small black sketchbook that I got for myself on my last birthday with the money my grandma sent me. I also have my planner opened with the notes I wrote down for this week. I am willing to work on myself and that is important. Becoming a better version of myself will take time. 

Writing this kind of stuff comes easily to me; although it’s the dedication and perseverance I am learning is the hard part. I have to be willing to keep learning and writing and creating on a daily basis. Willing to do things you don’t want too, don’t feel like it, and when those things get boring, hard, and frustrating, is essential to becoming a success. I helped pass out plates to the people here. The more that people trust you, the better things are willing to go. 

Willingness to keep staying on the schedule and using my time wisely to better myself. Change is constantly happening regardless if we see it or not. Though drastic changes are the most dangerous and it’s better to take it one step at a time. I am willing to stay and keep taking my medication and sticking to the house rules. One thing that has really changed is my perception as I am aging. I am learning that to be healthy I need to take care of myself. I have stopped taking my heart rate and on the 24th, the day after my counseling appointment, this blog will be a year old. 

Tell Me Tuesday

​I am at the center and didn’t receive my medication this morning. The lady in charge of the center, picked us up before our caregiver arrived to give us our medication. I have one more pack of cigarettes from what my dad gave me this weekend. It’s important to tell the truth and do our best to abide by the truth. I helped pass out bowls of oatmeal to the people at the center.

In the past, I have worked in restaurants as a waitress. I have worked at Casa Ole in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Hauffbraugh’s and Cheddars in Arlington, Texas. That was a long time ago and it didn’t last long. I am good at following directions for the most part but I found myself liking retail better. 

I have been reading a lot of articles about writing and starting an art business. My son was so precious as he said his first goal for our Art Shop, is to make $300. Although I have started an online Entrepreneur Facebook Page that I have had up since 2010. I haven’t had to much success with it. 

When I started blogging I also wanted to make money. I had JohnnaFloyd.com open for as long as I could. Financial I was unable to reopen the domain this year. I make about $125, a month. I hated to get my hopes up only to find out I wasn’t making any progress.

I’m fortunate for everything in my life and I know that God is moving to work some great things out for us. Through hard things like not being able to receive medication this morning to seeing how blessed I am to have a good nights sleep and having a second cup of coffee this morning. The truth is that it’s easier said than done; we have to prepare, plan, and set goals in order to make our lives better.

In the book “The Night Portrait”; a reoccurring theme is that life would not be worth living if it wasn’t for Art. I brought my backpack full of Art Supplies and I have only had inspiration to make a few drawings since the beginning of the year. I know I have a lot of free time to work on creative things but filling a blank page is calling for more creativity than I have right now.

We all go through hard things in life and when I think of the things that are impacting me the most, it’s my depression and being idle instead of productive. Suggestions are given but sometimes we would rather someone ask or even demand something of us, instead of carelessly wasting away the day. 

The Truth is I wish I were more successful and more put together. I’m reminded while reading my Bible Studies, that nothing is a waste. I may not be a hundred percent on my abilities right now but through hard work and dedication I have learned that being a better self is a never ending cycle and the more you don’t give up the better it gets.

As someone who has given up on the group home five times and am still here. I have learned that I can’t force anything to happen and to place it in Gods Hands. 

Moral Monday

​I am starting to feel better as I took my medicine this morning. I put the roses on the table at home, last night when My Dad dropped me off at the house around 7PM. This morning I didn’t want to wake up and I slept good till 8AM. When I think about “morals”, I think about the discipline and persistence it takes to make things better. 

Although I haven’t always been faithful to taking my medication and being there for the people that matter the most in my life. I have had to start having patience when things don’t go my way. To not make a big deal out of things I don’t like. One thing that is helping me is writing about my day. 

I have been persistently taking my medication and staying with the Day Program for over a year. I am responsible for my own self; and every choice I make has a consequence. When I left I was being selfish and didn’t make good choices. Sitting here, thinking about how to make this a good week.

Monday is the start of a new week and even though I am not going to see my family for a while. I am remembering the weekend. I am gaining a greater understanding of who I am. Through reading and writing I have learned that God loves me each and every step of the way.

Things may not always happen the way you want them too. Though through doing the things you do every day results in seeing better days ahead. Staying with my family for the weekend was a blessing. I’m now with my other family at the group home. 

Fabulous Friday

​The weather outside feels great and I enjoyed my slurpy from 711. I have been keeping a journal on Evernote about what I am doing throughout the day. I’m waiting on the caregiver for tonight, speaking of which it’s her knocking on the door now. As soon as she arrived I made a cup of instant coffee. 

Our help comes in to cook us dinner and give us our medication. We also receive our five cigarettes, although I purchased a pack of cigarettes at 711. I know that smoking is a really bad habit and there’s so many better habits I have been reading about.

When she arrived, she asked where everyone was. Reluctantly I told her I didn’t know. There’s six people that live with me here on Hightower. I am learning that in order to get along it’s better for me to be patient and reading The Bible has really helped me. 

Tomorrow Morning My Dad is picking me up to go spend the weekend for Mother’s Day. We’re going to Skillet N’ Dinner in the morning. 

It’s the end of the week and I noticed I blogged twice on Monday and Wednesday, so to make it even out I’m writing tonight as I shouldn’t spend too much time on my phone while I’m with my family.