Renewed Subscription

​Payday $385… I woke up to my Venmo account having the money in it. First I put $185 in my Chime account then put $50 in savings. Then I paid-$20 for Blogspot! Then I bought $45 off TEMU & now I have $85 to spend on what I need from the big gas ⛽️ station & Dollar 💵 Store.

When We Do

​I took a shower this morning before my counseling appointment and I need to do laundry 🧺. I need to update my subscription to BlogSpot & it will cost me $20. I am waiting on my caseworker & I have $11 something to buy cigarette's/cigar’s and a drink with. 

I have a 2:30PM appointment with my psychiatrist. Today I marked it as my reset checklist day. I just need to keep reminding myself that I am doing better. 

My first cigarette 🚬 in 48Hours

​Watching one of my housemates counting cash 💵 the ice 🧊 on the ground is defrosting. I just took my afternoon meds and smoked half a cigarette 🚬. I feel earlier on the ice 🧊 but glad 😀 this is almost over. I am glad I smoked. 

Making Tea; I have had two cigarettes. I am just waiting patiently & using my scented pens to write in my green notebook. 

Good or Bad: conditions

​so, we’re just waiting for this storm ⛈️ to pass & I texted JayJay. Seems I have an over the phone appointment with Sam, my psychiatrist. I’ve smoked several times and now my throat hurts & I’m trying to clean.

I will have to do much better budgeting from now on! There’s a full week till payday and I only have half a pack of cigars. We had spaghetti 🍝 tonight.

Less than a week

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Well, the carton lasted for a while but not the entire month & after next week it will be ❤️ February 2026”! Maybe 🤔 I should buy two cartons every other week. I spent most of my money 💴 and I spent all but $16 that I am saving for my ID 🪪 but my appointment isn’t till March 12th! Hopefully there’s a way to get more cash 💵! 

Smoking 🚬 by the door 🚪 and I,… so, I have been reading 📖 Ezekiel in The Bible! Also articles on Pinterest. I make another $385, next Sunday, rent is due then Dad will Venmo me my money. It was nice 😊 to go to Walmart & Target to spend my money. I got $150, for Christmas 🎄!

Wish I had this again, but now that’s gone. I have only enough cash to get my 🪪 & no more. My dad quit smoking but I hope 🤞 this bad weather goes and dad brings me cigarettes like he has been.

Bad Weather

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A picture from outside our Group Home at around this time last night the girls decided to pitch in for pizza 🍕! I have been asleep most of the day & now it’s sleeting and very cold outside. I don’t feel good,…

Staying inside,…

Get your own

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Going through a hard time, people asking for all I have just had chicken 🐔 noodle soup 🍜 & it’s raining 🌧️. Ate my snack time bagels 🥯, all gone yesterday. I paid $20 for Red Supreme 100’s at the start of the month & I have an open pack and two more packs. It’s raining 🌧️ and we’re in for a winter ❄️ storm ⛈️. 

Pizza 🍕 Night

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We went from having five people to seven people at the table. I spent $12 on two packs of Montego Red 100’s, w/o an 🪪 it’s hard to get cigarettes 🚬 but ‘Thanks! My roommate just said she would buy me a vape 💨! That’s Awesome 😎 Music 🎶!

Lifesavers

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I’m sitting on my bed, in eleven days I will be paid $385 again for February 26”. It’s supposed to rain 🌧️ on Friday and Saturday this week. The little one went back to school today & I’ve been busy all day. Do you like lifesavers? I just received this snack bag of share size gummy lifesavers. Group Home 🏠 Argument about taking showers 🚿, I did yesterday.

This was a couple of days ago, food stamps don’t come in until the 13th of February, the day before Valentines Day I have plenty of food in my closet. 

Took out the trash 🚮 and all the girls are sitting at the table. I only have one Dr. Pepper & a few Big Red. 

The Day of ANSA

​Waiting for my Recovery ❤️‍🩹 Manager & I just drank a Big Red & smoked a cigarette. I woke up to half a pack and now I have half of half a pack. There’s eleven days left in this month & I have $18 in cash and $11 on Chime. I really should save more.

We made it to the appointment on time where the lady asked me a series of questions. I answered them the best I could. Now I’m home at the group home and just smoked a cigarettes.

Martin Luther King 👑 Day

​Woke up at 9:20AM on the couch 🛋️ with my jacket as my pillow and dad’s army blanket. It’s 11:25AM & we’re watching “Cheaper By The Dozen”! Dad made pancakes for everyone and I had two cups of coffee and two glazed donuts. I have three cigarettes 🚬 left in this pack and two packs left. The little one wouldn’t stop saying the F* word & 

Stay Again

​Sitting here on the couch 🛋️ & I was able to sleep 😴 last night. I woke up at 8:45AM & the little one woke up at 12:15AM. They wanted me to stay another night and go home tomorrow on Martin Luther King Day! Dad just left to go to the store & mom is in the kitchen cooking French Toast. 

Exactly Two Weeks ❤️

​I was able to see my whole family today! I was blessed that I was able to see my little sisters and that we had a special meal. In exactly fourteen days it will be February First, mom ❤️ let’s just enjoy the time right now. Electronics and sleepover,…

I took my meds,… on Tuesday I have a ANSA appointment & I am aware that this month I spent too much money 💴 and 

Saturday is Special

​I’m sitting on my parent’s couch and we ate earlier at Skillet and Grill! I had a Skillet and Dinner Omelette and put what I didn’t eat in a box, for tomorrow’s breakfast. Dad gave me four packs of Lucky 🍀 Strike Gold. I smoked two cigarettes and drank a cup of coffee ☕️. They still have their tree 🌲 up from Christmas. It’s 10:41AM!

We had steak 🥩 & baked potatoes 🥔 “what a treat”! I was able to give my dad his present and he said he appreciated it. I am staying the night and we went from watching “Mario” to “Cars”!

Alex to Alex to AWOL; about a girl's paycheck...

Happy 😃 Birthday Dad!!!

​My caseworker surprised 😮 me with a QT Large Coffee while I was laying down this morning. She said she is off on Monday 🖤 Martin Luther King Day. I had an appointment with my counselor at 8:30 🕣 AM! I have had breakfast 🥞 and sausage & coffee ☕️. Lunch of fish & French fries.

I did my laundry 🧺 & opened my last pack of cigarettes. I’m going over to my parent’s house this Saturday and staying the night. He said we’re grilling steaks 🥩 & they’re playing games & I will get to see the little one.

Going to MD & Target

​I called Lone Star to check the balance of my food 🍱 stamps and I have $63! My caseworker said she would be here around 1:30PM & it’s 10:23AM. I have my appointment at MD Medical 🏥 at 2PM 🕑! Just took the trash out and smoked a cigarettes 🚬 ! We had chicken pot pie 🥧!

Amanda is my caseworker this week and the appointment took about an hour to check my cholesterol and got a flu shot. Then we drove nine miles to Target 🎯!

Alex to Alex to AWOL; about a girl's paycheck...

The Cash 💵 What is Left

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There’s about nine dollars 💵 here, and most of my stuff I ordered from TEMU has arrived. I love 💕 this quilt my mom made it. I am going to MD Clinic tomorrow & my caseworker is picking me up at 1:30PM! We’re going grocery shopping 🛒 with my $58 EBT. I might go to Target 🎯 snacks!

Here’s about $35, but I need to save $15-$20 for a Drivers License 🪪! I just took my evening meds and smoked a cigarette 🚬!

Alex to Alex to AWOL; about a girl's paycheck...

The Delivery 📦

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A huge delivery 📦 of groceries & I helped put the groceries in the house 🏠. I received my -$15 sport bras & washi tape. Woke up at 7AM 🕖 & smoked a cigarette, I have eleven left in this box. Drank two cups of coffee ☕️ but there was no sugar.

I had an over the phone 📱 conversation with my counselor at 8:30AM. We talked about photography & things that I could do.

It’s almost eleven, my caseworker said she would be here today. 

The Case!

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It’s 2PM 🕑 just took my ‘afternoon anxiety 😬 medication & a surprise visit from Rachel and she dropped medication off and gave it to Nukka. She rescheduled my appointment for the thirtieth at 2PM 🕑! I receive food stamps on the same day.

I asked my psychiatrist to up my medication and he increased +10mg of citalopram meds are working well. She said she would come back on Thursday & my House 🏠 Mate gave me an orange 🍊 Sunkist. It’s a nice day today and I tried on my new 🆕 shirts, Hello Kitty & Performance. 

 

My Last $10!

​Most of my things coming to me in packages 📦 are in transit they should be here by the twelfth; the fifteenth is my dad’s birthday 🎂 and the thirteenth is food stamps day of $58! This shirt arrived on the front porch & I quickly put it on. -$7.68!

Hopefully 🤞 next month of February I’ll do better with my money. I haven’t heard back from my caseworker and I have a check up appointment with my doctor 👩‍⚕️ on Monday.

I’m broke

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I have $7 left till payday,… the first of February; just took a shower 🚿 and the lady in charge made me clean the shower 🚿 with a squeegee & handled mop. She put drinks on the table and I got a Dr. Pepper.  I bought a plant 🪴 for my table and batteries were $10. Food 🍱 Stamps.

I bought this supreme cigar carton for $20 yesterday afternoon around 3PM 🕒 with Renee, and he gave me a free lighter. Then we went to “Dollar Tree 🌲” and they had a lot of “❤️Valentines Day Stuff” out. I am waiting on my deliveries 📦 & chilling.

It’s only The Fifth!

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Burps and I just finished ✔️ this coke, woke up at 7:15AM & we had eggos & bacon 🥓 for breakfast 🧇. I need toilet paper 🧻 & a gift bag & birthday card & Tylenol & Q-tips & denture adhesive & AA/AAA Batteries 🔋. Waiting on my caseworker & I want to get a carton of Red Supreme cigars. 

My last “Sparkling Ice” 🧊 water, I have two more orange 🍊 mango 🥭 & food 🍱 stamps come in on the 13th! I put the money all in Chime & have $85.

Alex to Alex to AWOL; about a girl's paycheck...

First Shipment 📦 Is Here!

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Three things have arrived from TEMU; my surprise for My Dad, acrylic markers, and six clear bins. I love shopping 🛍️ TEMU & I saved about $200 on the price.

I put the handles on the boxes 🗃️ one for snacks and candy, one for hot drinks, one for makeup 💄 I need some blush, one for art Supplies, one for jewelry. The notebooks 📓 I have accumulated don’t fit in the box though. I have 3 boxes of cigarettes.

Sunday Smoking

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Yes,… I believe in God! I got five 5️⃣ packs of cigarettes 🚬 yesterday from Dad & I have two left in this pack. We had pancakes 🥞 for breakfast & I took my medicine. Took a shower 🚿 & it’s 10AM & woke up at 7AM. Shared hot chocolate ☕️ with my roommate & smoking 🚬 my last one ☝️ in my first pack. ❤️ Thank you!

This is the bucket 🪣 we put cigarette 🚬 butts in and empty cans & emptied boxes of cigarettes. I have $32 on Chime & $50 on Venmo & $40 in cash 💵. Waiting on my storage bins, acrylic markers (24 pack), and my daddy’s birthday shirt.

I bought this “Smartfood” Popcorn 🍿 at Walmart when my caseworker took me and we spent the remainder of my EBT it refills with $58 on the thirteenth & what should I do today?

Alex to Alex to AWOL; about a girl's paycheck...

Saturday 🌟 Startled

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He called me at eight 8️⃣ ten this morning to tell me he was already here & waiting outside. We went to “Skillet and Dinner”! Ordered orange juice and coffee ☕️ & I got chocolate 🍫 chip pancakes 🥞! I have been sleeping most of the day & was falling asleep 😴 during the drive. Just took my afternoon medicine & sitting outside.

Surprised by Makeup 💄

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The delivery 📦 was at eleven eleventh make a wish! One of My New Year Plans is to take better care of myself. I didn’t know if I should check outside or not but I wanted my package of makeup 💄. 

$120 Venmo/Chime

​Having to come up with a plan and budget after spending so much on what; new clothes & the first things to arrive will be my makeup 💄 kit and storage bins,… My dad is picking me up at eight in the morning to go eat & I hope he brings cigarettes. Lisa is venting to me & I…

Got compliments on my new haircut and I traded lifesavers for a bag of cool 🆒 ranch Doritos and a Coke. It is dinner 🥘 time & I am tempted to go shopping 🛍️ again and Rachael is my caseworker all month,… I want to go to Target 🎯 to see if they have scented pens. Treat people well,…

January & I have been ⚖️🔭 about: Valentine’s Day, I want to get everyone a card & gifts 🎁 & some stickers but most importantly I want to be prepared for my colonoscopy… eating my bag of popcorn 🍿! I guess spending $150 on TEMU is a good budget & there is normally four/five weeks in a month there’s four long weeks in this month of January and I am going to be focusing 🧘🏻 on myself & turning forty.

Alex to Alex to AWOL; about a girl's paycheck...

The Caseworker Stretched

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A Surprised Visit From Caseworker…

I have: 💕 Rachael this whole month of January & This is ❤️ Renee! She dropped off my medication and an increase of +10mg citalopram. I didn’t get to see her for long but on the 30th ❤️ of January shopping adventure & Psych appointment went well.

One Caseworker Per Month and Next…

February 2026” ❤️ Sarah, I have a gynecologist appointment and a colonoscopy that I am nervous 😟 about. That day is the fifth and payday again is the first. I will get paid another $385, do I build a wishlist? ❤️ Also Valentines 💌 Day I want to make a book 📕 for my little boy. I want to spend less on TEMU. 

Then Month After That In March, JayJay

I haven’t had to go into the hospital 🏥 for a while and that’s a good thing. I went for two weeks at MillWood during March of 25”… Bipolar Skits 

Then Amber in April of 2026”

My Walks To Corner Store

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My Relationships around the house are good and bad, after Naomi left I walked to the corner store. 🏬 I spent -$15 on a Venom & two packs of Main Street cigarettes and a lighter. I have $20 on Chime & $100 on Venmo. Pointed out I am sore & very frustrated but there is a doctor 👨🏾‍⚕️ visit on the twelfth of January this month. The day most of my packages 📦 should be arriving. I tried to share,…

I lost my wallet 💳 around October 25” & in August of 25” I started and finished ☑️ paying off my ‘shoplifting ticket 🎫 of $897. ℹ live on RSDI & rents paid & it’s 2:33PM. Frustrated that I couldn’t get my laptop 💻 to connect to the internet 🛜 & tried hotspot and it didn’t work, sometimes… When I got back from my walk I signed papers for Diadem Hearts 💕! Setting goals and intentions for New 🆕 Year 26”

January is Here

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Strawberry 🍓 B-Pop “Foger” Vape 💨 & Kiwi 🥝 Strawberry 🍓 Sparkling ✨ Ice taste good together. Listening 👂🏼 to the audio book 📕 on There Must Be A Better Way. I am sitting outside & it feels good 😊. Just waiting on packages 📦 to arrive. This sweater was from Christmas 🎄 25” from the Group Home. 🏠 Had two cups of coffee & I have $35 in my ‘Chime Account.

Smoking with the housemates & I am hoping that Daddy brings me some cigarettes tomorrow and I wonder 💭 who will be my Monday to Friday of next week Caseworker. It’s 9:50AM! The first thing I am waiting on is my Full Makeup 💄 Kit and I hope 🤞 it is my color scheme.

I bought a lot of LifeSavers & Spent $35 on  candy 🍬… a house mate wanted me to check on her food stamps but I didn’t. I spent all $82 on food and drinks at Walmart and I have to wait till the 13th to get $58 food stamps. I really wanted to find scentos scented pens 🖊️ but bought ‘20 click colored pens. I spent $25 on a black sweatsuit and a green pair of sweatpants.