Parents are Adults at 27; wish my son could just be happy 😃, how many times have I asked you to take off my shit 💩? Weird? I’m happy 😃 of feeling but I can’t have everything and wanting more. Snuck
Rehabilitated 🐦 a slur pie 🥧 hello 👋 & kitty 🐈⬛ cattiness… that LT ‘got no brain 🧠 full of spiritual ‘Spirits on a ⛅️ sun 💋 kissed! Got jealous and again & again isn’t your’s!
I’m frustrated 😣 one more hour until I take my benzo & I can’t believe these girls ran through the Dr. Pepper’s in one day. I ate breakfast with my Father & I ate a ham & cheese 🧀 omelette. My Father gave me $60 & ‘My 2packs of Main Street were -$12… I hope 🤞 I have these for several days! I put $20 in my Pink Floyd cash box.
It was a good breakfast 🍳 & tomorrow is My EBT … then I can call 📱 & find out how much I can have. I am only thirty-nine & should not be taken advantage of by hurtful and angry 😤 older women,…
Do STFU 🤬… I 🌟 started college in 05” 😳🐦🔥 when it’s Wednesday I used to go to FRBC church ⛪️ seven 7️⃣ years & single and parenting; but I don’t remember why she don’t feel good that drink 🍹 tasted good 👍 smooth & understanding as the waves 🌊 of my last three 3️⃣ months jail.
They returned me:my money 💴 of $15; and right now I am waiting on several shipments 📦 of my purchases & bought orajel. That was all of It & practically gone by magic 🪄! Today I talked to my caseworker *corrie & today I told him about Podcasts from Pod FM 📻… Werwolves💥
I just woke up at 7:15AM 🏜️ & there’s a ⛈️ storm a brewing and I walked 👸🏻👣 3 Miles! I bought $70 worth of cigarettes 🚬 I wanted for a very long time & I bought red 🩸 wine 🍷 for us for dinner 🥘 💋!
I remember in my heart ♥️ I’m Jafara & My wishlist is bought and; now I have $90! 💩 is expensive and over smoking just isn’t cute 🥰! 📽️⚱️well … the rest I spent on smokes & 💨 smokescreen and silky hair.
It’s 100* & 💯: I lack 17 courses to attain my dream degree 📜 of communication advertising and public questions. I had my 39TH Birthday 🥳 and today is the day before payday! I am doing what I need to but some people get in the way… more?
Tomorrow is Payday $385;… but 🌄🎃🌆 this next month will get sadder and more 😢 sadistick & I have to pay a medical bill 💸 of $660; so $200! Thanks 🙇🏾♀️ I appreciate the .50🪙 & .30🪙 : I was able to buy a swisher sweets 🍫 & now diabetes and almost 😅 4PM 🕓 & 🙇🏻♂️🧠🫀!
These concho’s were delivered this morning and they expired on 28th & it’s 2026” … I am excited 😆 about tomorrow though and we’re all going to get paid & I am going to buy a bottle of red wine 🍷!
It’s 2.6 miles from where I live too the Rising Star Church and we’re about to have church! Though now it’s after my nap time and the sermon was about God’s Grace and Mercy about money and 2 📮! Pampered Pamphlet’s and this was $20/-$12 … I had fun 🤩 and learned I was …
The network is amazing 😻 and I have an idea 💡 to buy ten 🔟 - 25 for $10 stuffies, 12 koshe ball for… $6.70 [almost the whole pack] … 12 southwest west compass keychains about Boy Scouts & Girl Scouts of America !!! About $170…
Good morning ☀️ I say to myself 🩵 as I am waiting patiently for my Father 👨🏼 and I understand he grew up seventeen years in War. While I struggle and trying to understand myself. It’s hopefully 🙏 not an eighteen year old woman 👵 pregnant 🤰 in the streets under my cigarettes.
Okay 🌷⚽️🙏 no … now I am hearing a song 🎶 by Lisa’s Chicken 🐔! Working and worked on an hour & a half of work at a time with a $7 cigarette 🚬.! Gave *My House 🏠 Mom: three 3️⃣ packs.
This 🧛🏻♀️🧞♀️ Paycheck is mine; so when is it going to arrive. He got ‘ten minutes a lecture for my 👂🏼 ear’s! Myself 🫂🫀🦷 ‘totally 💕 love’s my self & too many
Self Is’s! Although every woman 👩 wants me to keep celebrating 🥳 but today is the last day of the month.
I 💋♥️🩸 … Just ‘Now 39* I have SSDI & 🤼♂️🤑 asking my own people at ‘Now “I am getting in 🤑😈💀! I went to work & school 🏫 and fun 🤩! Just ⏳💴📀 wake up 🔝!
Chicken 🐔 Noodle 🍜 Soup for The Soul is quit an intriguing book 📕; I have read & had three of the books 📖. I am currently reading “The Ghost 👻 In The White City 🏙️ “ by Lawson. I love 💕 too read & write.
The Best Thing Is Being There…
Literally listening to the people you care about and asking for the things you need!
Then,… I 🤕 owned ‘Crank,… ‘Glass,… & ‘Blow… ‘Then I couldn’t and I wanted to mostly remember good 😊 and bad things and I & My Dad talked about my Birthday for in six days I’ll be 39!
We’re already down to a quarter of a jar of coffee and I had an egg, sausage, and two egos. I am sitting at the table because my old counselor said I can’t sit on my bed and do my work and he,… okay so I had two cups of coffee one of two spoonfuls.
I received my dress, lipgloss, and accessories yesterday around 4PM,… I don’t like to nosy of people. There’s a worker here & I’m thinking of solving potential problems. I used all my EBT but now everyone is complaining. Two weeks from now it will be my Birthday.
S&P; was about $5,000 worth of goods at Afterlife we were ‘international Fashion Models. How about getting paid $100 a weekend? What,… what? I bought her a Starbucks and it’s Senior Year 16”-18”,…
My stuff is ‘My stuff ❤️😃💄 I can & can’t believe y’all… why are you asking for me to just give you. What? The stuff I have? … Always Wanting ⚠️🖐️ I’m JoJo! Asking?
I tried to help my friends & with their greed. I loved 🥰 ‘Art Zone; their running them 📕🧯🧰🪫⏰ Ramped. Most of the time I gave up 🆙 I’m starting to think 🤔…
I came inside and my package 📦 was magically on the bed 🛌 then I went outside and shared a lucky 🍀 strike 🪧 with my roomie myself and lacy law. While I was cleaning 🧹 my room my caseworker walked in the house 🏠. Dad she walked in and got my notary, a twenty, and the check.
She told me some of her poems, she told me some of her poetry, and I told her some of my stanzas! I was in Germany 🇩🇪 for birth certificate renewal is $50. I’m waiting for my drivers license 🪪… $16!
Stop 🛑 playing with my emotions and telling me “their” rags as they totally ignore me and get on my “nerves”… Daddy 👩🏻✈️💂🖤 just bought me “those” 5 packs of Lucky 🍀 Strikes 🪧 but… gone all but three.
I am at the center and didn’t receive my medication this morning. The lady in charge of the center, picked us up before our caregiver arrived to give us our medication. I have one more pack of cigarettes from what my dad gave me this weekend. It’s important to tell the truth and do our best to abide by the truth. I helped pass out bowls of oatmeal to the people at the center.
In the past, I have worked in restaurants as a waitress. I have worked at Casa Ole in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Hauffbraugh’s and Cheddars in Arlington, Texas. That was a long time ago and it didn’t last long. I am good at following directions for the most part but I found myself liking retail better.
I have been reading a lot of articles about writing and starting an art business. My son was so precious as he said his first goal for our Art Shop, is to make $300. Although I have started an online Entrepreneur Facebook Page that I have had up since 2010. I haven’t had to much success with it.
When I started blogging I also wanted to make money. I had JohnnaFloyd.com open for as long as I could. Financial I was unable to reopen the domain this year. I make about $125, a month. I hated to get my hopes up only to find out I wasn’t making any progress.
I’m fortunate for everything in my life and I know that God is moving to work some great things out for us. Through hard things like not being able to receive medication this morning to seeing how blessed I am to have a good nights sleep and having a second cup of coffee this morning. The truth is that it’s easier said than done; we have to prepare, plan, and set goals in order to make our lives better.
In the book “The Night Portrait”; a reoccurring theme is that life would not be worth living if it wasn’t for Art. I brought my backpack full of Art Supplies and I have only had inspiration to make a few drawings since the beginning of the year. I know I have a lot of free time to work on creative things but filling a blank page is calling for more creativity than I have right now.
We all go through hard things in life and when I think of the things that are impacting me the most, it’s my depression and being idle instead of productive. Suggestions are given but sometimes we would rather someone ask or even demand something of us, instead of carelessly wasting away the day.
The Truth is I wish I were more successful and more put together. I’m reminded while reading my Bible Studies, that nothing is a waste. I may not be a hundred percent on my abilities right now but through hard work and dedication I have learned that being a better self is a never ending cycle and the more you don’t give up the better it gets.
As someone who has given up on the group home five times and am still here. I have learned that I can’t force anything to happen and to place it in Gods Hands.
When I was told we we're leaving the center, I was excited to be coming home to learn a little more on my actual laptop. As soon as I walked in the house my caregiver started talking about how I better clean and organize my room. I know that I can't afford to buy a pricey domain right now and that "BlogSpot" will have to work for me. I desire to make an income but first I need to sit down and do research. First, to vacuum my room. The temperature is so hot in here and I first want to work on how I am doing and feeling.
I feel irritated and happy at the same time. I need to learn how to make some more income through the use of the internet. I'm watching a Stephen Gardner video about what is going on in the Nation right now. I've had two of my Co-Vid19 Vaccines and I'm glad no one I know has it.
I have an assortment of books... I carried my backpack today to "The Center"; in my backpack I have my new TomBow Markers, SketchBook, Zebra MidLiner Brush Pens, Erasers, Crayola Colored Pencils, An AOA pouch with more colored pencils and sharpeners, My Planner, Art Therapy Coloring book, Marker Paper, Hello Kitty Wellness Planner, and another AOA pouch with my Papermate candy felt pens and markers.
I have a list I found on Pinterest one day about parenting. A few months ago, I took a course on Parenting on Coursera. I really enjoy listening to Coursera about topics I’m interested in and at the moment I am doing a course on Purpose. Everyone parents different and everyone’s parents are different.
When my son was born, my parents suggested that I continue with my Education. I was a member of Single and Parenting at Fielder and a member of MOPS. I’m proud of My Mom as she is pursuing her Masters in Communications. While taking care of my son when he’s not at school. Giving up on my goal of Graduation in 2016; was one of the worst decisions of my life.
Not only that but I also didn’t want to stay at my parents house. Suddenly after I had gone to jail for a week because I had shoplifted from Mardel’s and Hobby Lobby; I called someone to take me to Arlington Homeless Shelter. After the fact that my dad had bailed me out that Friday. I was embarrassed and felt bad about myself to the point of suicidal ideation. I later found myself losing everything and in MillWood; where my family found Mrs. Charnel and her group home “Cave Care”!
It was Spring Break and my psychosis was hitting hard. That’s when I started noticing my schizophrenic disorder. After all I had been through and about to finish the semester off. I made the worst mistake and continued down a negative path for almost five years. I’m slowly getting my life back in order and today my caseworker took me out to go shopping for My Mom for Mother’s Day.
Actually work, literally never ends. Although I bring my backpack to the center every day. I have become stale in my artwork of drawing, painting, and photography. I’m enjoying writing as inspiration comes to me. For most of the week my backpack has sat on the ground and I haven’t been using it I'm much more on my iPhone to pass the time. I did make a bracelet today! When in a creative rut and needing to pass the time, I have been less than productive. Seems most of the time I am smoking and feeling a deep dark depression. I have read several articles on Pinterest about Creativity. I'm hoping that Biden has some way to help us with Financial Aid for Student Loans. I am a Public Relations and Advertising major; lacking five to seven classes before I can officially graduate.
We had an awesome dinner of ribs, rice, and beans. Cooked by our lovely caregiver tonight. I don’t know how to cook and really missed out on that in my life. Took my medicine and have enjoyed sitting outside to smoke for a while before and after dinner. I'm listening to relaxing music at the moment and working on my blog. Thinking of what I can really sit or lay here writing about. Next weekend is Mother's day and I remember my little boy telling me he didn't want me to come over. Though my parents we're nice and said that I am. It must be the age that he's at; hopefully this won't last forever with him having hurt feelings towards me. I try to be sweet and nice most of the time. When I can't be I resort to closing myself off so I don't hurt anyone.
I received my “Cinder” book back from a house member. The book is a good one and it’s about a twist on Cinderella but she is a cyborg. Meanwhile; there's this horrible plague that is all over the country of China. The next book I am reading is “The Night Portrait” by Laura Morelli. Although I have started this book and am only a tenth of the way through.
There’s not too much they ask of us to do around the group home. To wake up around 8AM and make the bed. Rent was due today and my father paid my rent. I am appreciative that my rent was paid and look forward to another month here. Although there is no light on in my room and I need my lamp in order to read anything other than my laptop or my phone. It's time for another smoke!
The words hurt and throwing and hitting and all the things that go along with it. I walked to the corner store to think and get away for a few minutes. I bought a Bang Can and a pack of Lucky Strikes menthol.
I ask if there is anything I can do to make the situation better. Relationships haven’t been easy for me. I was left pregnant by my ex and my parents have been taking care of the child. I have been in and out of his life ever since. I don’t remember how I acted as a kid but I remember my father being deployed a lot. My mother and I not really getting along. My ten and eight year younger sisters fighting and I’m about to be an aunt.
My caregiver and my help at the center have been asking about my kid. I have a rough relationship with him. I don’t want to mention to much of hurtful information. Focusing on the good and bad on this situation and I know we all try our best to get along.
In 2013; I gave birth to my son and we’ve all struggled since then. I think about how close my parents are to me and sometimes it makes me sad. I try to call my Dad on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s to check up on my family. I am glad today we found a counseling center for me.
It started when I didn’t buckle his seat belt in the cart at Target. Where he fell out and his head was messed up with a big knot. I freaked out and drove to my parents house instead of taking him to the hospital. I think at the time I was so selfish that I had also purchased Starbucks coffee while I got him some ice for his head. I’ve recently been reminded by him and my mom that I am selfish.
That was the year I left my parents house and became homeless after getting into trouble with the law, school, and mental institutions. I tell you this not to alarm my readers but to tell you my story about the situation with my little one.
We talked about counseling today and I need a referral from my Doctor. On Monday my caseworker took me to the duck pond in Downtown Fort Worth. I have liked fishing with my Dad and we went this past weekend. I have been going to bed at 6PM for the last several nights. I also have been really quite and to myself.
I got my injection yesterday and I normally feel better after I get the injection. I have started a new medication that seems to be helping. I’ve stayed in The Group Home for over a year. It’s a blessing I’m not on the streets. Everyday of the week, we go to the center and I take my backpack. This week I also bought a pack of cigarettes and a slurpy.
I’m thinking about what I would have done differently if I had the chance to start over about twenty years ago. I was finished with High School, twenty years ago. My family is done with college and both my sister’s graduated. Though I have not and have acquired a lot of debt in the process of trying to get my degree.
I wouldn’t have been attached to people that were not helping me in my life. I would hopefully not have gotten into drugs and shoplifting. I can’t go back in time but knowing that I can and will do better in the future gives me hope. Here’s to persistently taking it moment by moment and doing the best I can. God is here on my journey to my future and things are what they are. Moving forward to getting my life right by reading helpful articles about all sorts of self help.