Wake up Wednesday; I am a seven nation army war veteran daughter and yesterday my father asked what I am doing this week. It’s LG’s birthday & we’re going to have cake today ♥️ I only recently three months ago turned 39. I know I had a good time at King ð Buffet but why so much TEMU? About two thirds pay
I don’t try to hurt ð people,
It’s almost 5PM & I just got off the phone with my dad; this is my life and I am doing the best I can. I went shopping today and spent the remainder of my food stamps & already ran out of cash.
It’s almost lunchtime and we’re going to have Taco ðŪ Bell. Though I am never again going to ð§ & ðŦ scanning. These are some of my new desk items & I am just enjoying the day and it’s Friday.
The lunch ðĨ was ‘Great & thank you roommate. I smoked a fourth of a cigar… & I am ready for my afternoon meds & ðĪ nap time.
I just had my mouth ð checked ☑️ by a nurse *Jocelyna ♥️ ! My hair looks crazy ðĪŠ and I wore my new ð pink wig all day yesterday. It’s hard to believe I bought three packs on Saturday and gone. Two packs of Winston Supreme; so now-$40!
What I noticed I still have a $20,… but again I need cigarettes ðŽ & perhaps ðĪ a drink ðĨ! As this morning and through out the week I am reading ð for my Sunday School ðŦ class 2nd chapter from Proverb. So why are we smoking ðŽ so many of me. My intention was half a pack a day.
Dad asked if I wanted to pay for my hospital bill of $660 ðĩðĐðŧðĶŊ➡️! $60 - $20 = $40 - $15.99… about $35, reminder that I don’t own the world ð ð! Next month I said I *might ðīðļðŠ pay ð° it! I want a crisp ðĒ crypt $500 tattoo and too pay ð° for it.
I just found two girls who liked the ðĨ department of what summer 17” and TxWes in 2023” I moved here in 23” October 31st ðĒðēðš… my grandma ðĩ
Cigarettes ðŽ are not legal from my Dad; any more than I can afford. What my kids ðĶ third week of Junior High ðŦ and left him alone and I really wish I had the right to drive him to school ðŦ about our ðĶĩ legal & ðĪ§ illegal procedures about wishes!
I’m getting help regardless and I am being myself so when they asked for mine I got angry ðĄ & girls from TCU and Baylor shouldn’t stalk. They should all 52, went to prison in 2020”! ðĐðŧðĶŊ➡️
Thank You ððī
She left around five o… o’clock this afternoon and it’s almost 109*C … this was whose idea ðūð° … to move *katie in these houses ð of our group home ð in December 23rd 2023”! ? ! I was a good ð§ðŧðžð§ðŧ✈️ðļðŧ! But all they want to do is ð ŋ️ or ð§Ⓜ️
I take ten ð to fifteen minutes for a shower ðŋ my dad says I should every day! Additionally Advertising around Bessie? Needs a reality check to receive SSI ð§ðŧ✈️ð ! I talked about war about cigarettes ðŽ and they talked about nonðļðŧ
I’m able to talk to my Therapist around 2PM ð today & this is my True Mental Health caseworker for the week and next week. Though ‘right now it’s only 9:35AM; I just drank a cup of coffee ☕️ and smoked two cigarettes ðŽ. I have $47 on Venmo & wish people would send me more.
I have not been to Brain ð§ scanning & ❤️ðĐđ Heart ♥️ scanning; in a while. My blood ðĐļ sugar levels this morning was 185! I have 97 College Courses Completed ✔️ I’m not aware of what else I need to complete. I am excited ð to get my glasses ð this weekend & hopefully ð DL & Voters soon.
I walked with ‘Angelic to the corner store ðŽ & spent ðĩ $22. I bought this bottle and three packs of Main Street cigarettes ðŽ! My nurse for my mouth ð helped me when I got back & I’m waiting for caseworker.
So,… yesterday I walked at 4:45PM,… because I only had two packs of cigarettes ðŽ. I think ðĪ that’s been $100,000 in ‘Cigs since 18”. Years ago a conservative dad came back & now he’s a retired vet. I’m waiting for lipgloss ð, ten change purses, and hand ðĪ lotion.
I paid for myself to smoke ðĻ & didn’t want to smoke ðĻ five & when I came in and out of the house ð on Pecos st. … ? Court? They, who got so ‘excited and who was ‘lustful & who was listening?
I took a shower this morning before my counseling appointment and I need to do laundry ð§š. I need to update my subscription to BlogSpot & it will cost me $20. I am waiting on my caseworker & I have $11 something to buy cigarette's/cigar’s and a drink with.
I have a 2:30PM appointment with my psychiatrist. Today I marked it as my reset checklist day. I just need to keep reminding myself that I am doing better.
I respect my parents marriage and they are great role models. I don’t know if it’s too late for me to say that I will ever be in a relationship that is good. I’m still haunted by the relationships in my past. Especially, the sperm donor of an ex that left me when I was three months pregnant. Neither one of us were faithful and we didn’t make good decisions.
I have seen good times and I have seen bad times; nothing is always perfect. The one thing I am grateful for above anything else is that they unconditionally love my son and I receive from our parents. They raised him ever since the first day I ran away and started living with the group home. That was seven years ago and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be there but I’m learning to make the most of it.
I’m faced with a lot of alone time; I could use the time for good or bad. This coming month of June I want to work on self growth. This weekend has been a learning experience and I know I won’t see them for a while. This weekend my little one has told me to go away and then he searches for me to do things for him. The back and forth is driving me insane and I know that this is the reason I have away five times.
My parents and I smoke and the habit is scary and expensive. I’ve got a bigger relationship with smoking than I do with anyone or anything in my life. Knowing that one day this habit is going to kill me or someone I love. Almost all of my money goes to smoking.
I’ve been single for a few months now and I’m liking it. I don’t talk about relationships I am in with my parents. I’m working on myself and trying to make the most out of my difficult past.
I am about too be an aunt and my sister is so fortunate that they have been married for a year before she got pregnant. I could be resentful and upset feeling sorry for myself. It’s not like I am responsible for my kid anyway and I failed as a mother. I’m alone and I’m knowing God but I’m alone. Judgements come all the time, making me question myself a lot.
The second grandchild is due in July; the same month as my middle sister, the one who is pregnant, and my Birthday’s. I’m going to be here for one more day and my parents don’t have me over as often as I would like. When you’re a part of something it’s important to take pride in it; then they say pride comes before the fall.
I’m waiting for the lady in charge of the Day Center, too pick us up from the house. I woke up at 6am and I took my medication, smoked, and had two cups of instant coffee. I want to describe to my readers today of the eight areas of life and where I fall under each category.
Life is better if you and I stay consistent and the most important thing is improving daily. I’d like to describe where I am in each category and then put goals that I am reaching towards. It’s good to get an assessment of where you are in life in order to know which direction you’re headed in. Received my second cup of coffee and we had donuts for breakfast.
Spiritual I grew up in the church and have Christian parents. As I grew up closer to God; I soon found that I had a lot of insecurities and faced Spiritual Warfare. There were times growing up that I completely ran away from God; also my home and the people that cared about me. I’m now closer to God than I have been in the past.
Physical I received a FitBit from my dad last year and it tells me how many steps to take each hour. I don’t have a physical plan and I’m not working out. I walk every once in a while and we’re encouraged to work out here at the center.
Financial I am receiving money for most of my needs from Social Security. I have my meals planned out for me, am provided my medication, and 10 cigarettes a day. Each month my family pays my rent through receiving my disability. I make about $125 on top of rent and my dad adds money to my Venmo almost every Monday.
Professional I studied Advertising and Public Relations at The University of Texas at Arlington. I am five classes away from attaining my Bachelors in Advertising. I have not been working and haven’t worked since 2013. I would like to find a career in the future; though right now I am just focusing on what I can.
Recreational I like to read articles on Pinterest and am focusing on self help. I attend a day program and am encouraged to keep myself busy.
Relational I have six other individuals I share a house with in Fort Worth, Texas. My Father is the closest one too me. I have a roommate and we have caregivers that come in to cook for us and give us our medication and cigarettes. I have been going out with my caseworkers during the week and today I am getting my injection.
Mental I have schizophrenia and severe depression as well as Bipolar disorder. Mental health has always been a struggle for me, since I was 12 years old. I take it one day at a time and am developing better ways to cope with my mental illness. I like to read and journal to release my difficulties of my mental illness.
Planning I use a daily planner to keep track of my personal development and the things that are important. As I look at my schedule I am reminded that I have a lot of time to myself. I hardly ever write a to do list, since life is pretty simple here in my situation.
I’m feeling content and calm this morning. As I am starting to see that staying with the group and my medication is working to my best interest. Enjoying my third cigarette and had my coffee. Going inside to adult day care after I smoke one more.
I brought my backpack; with my planner and pens that are in a pouch. Also in there is my large and small sketchbooks and colored pencils. Along with two coloring books and my journal. I am proud of myself for taking better care of my stuff.
What does it mean to have your life together?
At the moment I am at The Day Care Center and there’s a lot of people who come here every day. I am reminded that my group is just as important as my family; and they are my family. There’s been several people that have been here in the group home in the last five years. We have seen people come and go. I have been in the group home for seven years and have stayed for over a year now. The present ð moment is a gift and I am drawing closer to God; hoping to live a brighter future. As I move into the future I hope to be a mature and smart adult that makes the right choices and becoming more productive.