Wake up Wednesday; I am a seven nation army war veteran daughter and yesterday my father asked what I am doing this week. It’s LG’s birthday & we’re going to have cake today ♥️ I only recently three months ago turned 39. I know I had a good time at King ð Buffet but why so much TEMU? About two thirds pay
I don’t try to hurt ð people,
Who’s this tired ðĨą in the morning? I have faced two cigarettes l took My Medicine ð! I am almost ð aware that someone is and was asking for too much and it’s barely ð° payday of $385! How much do I spend on TEMU ðļðŧð ŋ️ð° … $185 + s&h!
If that’s all y’all want to do is harass me then I am upset ðĒ because y’all are asking me for to much. It’s been a fight for ten ð years but I have survived ð! Hospice care and mostly ðĨðŦð [gang]ð§
Then at 9:15AM; my caseworker *corrie took me to the park and I am flat broke now until next Tuesday the First. I swing life away from a nice ð park for myself. I learned and drove five ðŦĶðððŧ blocks for twenty.
She left around five o… o’clock this afternoon and it’s almost 109*C … this was whose idea ðūð° … to move *katie in these houses ð of our group home ð in December 23rd 2023”! ? ! I was a good ð§ðŧðžð§ðŧ✈️ðļðŧ! But all they want to do is ð ŋ️ or ð§Ⓜ️
I take ten ð to fifteen minutes for a shower ðŋ my dad says I should every day! Additionally Advertising around Bessie? Needs a reality check to receive SSI ð§ðŧ✈️ð ! I talked about war about cigarettes ðŽ and they talked about nonðļðŧ
I woke up ð at 6:45AM & opened our fourth pack and what we need more? A custody battle and between three girls as I try to find my sisters ðŊ♀️! Don’t lie to me and they have no mercy or money ðī to buy them. I have cut/ripped up my cigarettes boxes ðĶ but they are Mine!
I was an Honor Student ðĐð and when I graduated I got a job. College can bring success,… can’t it? I tried to use a friend’s EBT & they need to fix ð§ it! There’s 13 cigarettes ðŽ left so when their gone their gone.
At 2:45PM & I was *chilling out with my friends and *my stuff: about ‘Dodson & Dodson on the ðąð· The Future Family! I consulted & contemporary consignment worked on my five 5️⃣ books ð!
Good morning ☀️ I say to myself ðĐĩ as I am waiting patiently for my Father ðĻðž and I understand he grew up seventeen years in War. While I struggle and trying to understand myself. It’s hopefully ð not an eighteen year old woman ðĩ pregnant ðĪ° in the streets under my cigarettes.
Okay ð·⚽️ð no … now I am hearing a song ðķ by Lisa’s Chicken ð! Working and worked on an hour & a half of work at a time with a $7 cigarette ðŽ.! Gave *My House ð Mom: three 3️⃣ packs.
This ð§ðŧ♀️ð§♀️ Paycheck is mine; so when is it going to arrive. He got ‘ten minutes a lecture for my ððž ear’s! Myself ðŦðŦðĶ· ‘totally ð love’s my self & too many
Self Is’s! Although every woman ðĐ wants me to keep celebrating ðĨģ but today is the last day of the month.
I ð♥️ðĐļ … Just ‘Now 39* I have SSDI & ðĪž♂️ðĪ asking my own people at ‘Now “I am getting in ðĪðð! I went to work & school ðŦ and fun ðĪĐ! Just ⏳ðīð wake up ð!
I took a nap ðī for about an hour and a half before before my Dad, arrived & was still tired when he drove us to the diner,… I didn’t eat much of the oatmeal ðĨĢ breakfast ðģ and then he paid for our meals & we smoked & I received $60,…
We just got done ✔️ with lunch and had a big hamburger ð & smoked,… I have nine more. I should read my Bible ð CEV; too put God before myself as well as placing my family before myself. Tuesday’s my 39TH Birthday ð!
Chicken ð Noodle ð Soup for The Soul is quit an intriguing book ð; I have read & had three of the books ð. I am currently reading “The Ghost ðŧ In The White City ð️ “ by Lawson. I love ð too read & write.
The Best Thing Is Being There…
Literally listening to the people you care about and asking for the things you need!
Then,… I ðĪ owned ‘Crank,… ‘Glass,… & ‘Blow… ‘Then I couldn’t and I wanted to mostly remember good ð and bad things and I & My Dad talked about my Birthday for in six days I’ll be 39!
I already had breakfast, with My Father & Little Brother; I'm trying not to send, any annoying alarming news. I was invited to My Fathers, Best House, for the day after Fourth of July. I have till, 5PM to complete what I'd like to do, it's better asked for... nicely! ðĨðģ️ I
Lounging In & Around My Teal Bed & Getting Annoyed every once in a while, as I try consistently to improve my work. Oh! The Room-Mates situation; two girls besides myself in the, haha, Politically Correct Room, Door has a white tote bag from Tarrant County Commissioner Jail Sanction that I got Juneteenth. Speaking of Juneteenth; one of our favorite BLACK Women, stopped by the Rosedale ST. House Today. I steer clear of this room next to ours,... I was mostly told to stay away from BRODY! I have had two restful months off from "The Northside Adult Daycare Center",... With little mention of "Dorthy's House!"
I was barely out of "Millwood Estates" & There were all fifteen of My friends; including my ex-sperm-donor but we acted civil as we could and I recieved eight packs of Lucky Strike Red 100s! Lauren Fluent & Lauren Floyd we're there and non of us acted too bad until the coffee accident! I got out on The 4th of June & thank God! I wasn't chosen for Juno, though the 11th I Spent : Quality Time With Saint Andrew,... Then I noticed my iPhone11 says S.O.S. !!! On The 10th;... I joined a great group of people eager to Tour Texas Wesleyan! Next, I willingly will upload these photos.
June 20th 2024" Started the Start of Summer! Thanks too all My Kind Friends, I was able to have almost eighteen energy drinks. A whole pint of Pure 100% Almond Milk & These counselors have been playing games with me. So here's to deleting this game called Junes Adventure & working on more projects, Hey The Game Needs What It Needs! Next Pay Day on The Third + Rent on The First!
Drinking coffee and waiting for our caregiver to finish breakfast. Church starts in an hour and a half and I am looking forward to going. It’s 9AM; and I have been up since around 7AM. I am drinking a second cup of coffee and I will leave to walk to Bethel Church at 10AM. My elderly housemate and I walked the mile and a half to and from church. It’s 12:50PM and the walk caused me too sweat and I probably need a shower and some much needed self care.
We had oatmeal, eggs ðģ, toast, and sausage for breakfast. Walking is good for your health and something I should do more often. Although; it’s hot outside and I wish I could go swimming again. At Bethel Church; I had two cups of coffee and two donuts ðĐ. We took part in communion and read from Acts 2:40-47.
Acts 2:40-47 States; “He went on in this vein for a long time, urging them over and over, “Get Out While You Can; Get Out Of This Sick and Stupid Culture!” That Day about three thousand took Him at His Word, we’re baptized and we’re signed up. They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers.
In a World ð of 24/7 News and the community, Especially if your a Christian, you need to ask what you can do for the community. In order to have a real Interaction For Connection; different relationships have a different reaction and emotional response. When our moods and challenges become transparent they can be identified on each and every level. By running to God; we hang on to His Promise and we can develop a Christian perspective to these problems.
As my topic today; I wanted to talk about Nurturing and Supporting others vs. getting in their way and blocking the opportunities for Emotional Growth to develop resilience. In today’s society we receive twenty-four seven and constant information from the news and everyday people.
We Grow Through Incorporation; it’s not what we can get but what we can give as we devote time and live intentionally and finding unity in God’s desires and not from our own selfishness but finding unity and loving transformation. We learn, worship, and sacrifice together and develop more everyday. Although I have been closer to my family since I stopped running away the pastor spoke to my heart ❤️ when he said; “Your Here For Your Family or Is Your Family Here For You?” and “It’s Me For The Community or The Community Here For Me?”. We either want to keep being selfish or we share and cooperate on what works for the best of everyone.
Then We Go Through Intercession; God doesn’t have problems with your enemies and it’s important to interact to find a community you belong to; for me it’s seeing that I need to step away and give my parents and family a break and trust the care we receive at The Group Home and Day Care during the week.
Yesterday; I read my Adulting 101 book, which I have been reading a chapter every weekend, so I can focus during the week about the topic of the chapter by doing research. I am learning about EQ; which is Emotional Intelligence and helps you and I know and understand how we feel. The Pastor then encouraged us to walk away from a form of Entertainment that is harmful to one that is good; so I am going to try to do better at reading a helpful self and relationships article on Pinterest for every cigarette I smoke. Through my blogging I seek to look for ways to help others by sharing my God given gift of writing.
Today is the last day of the month of May. Blankly stating the obvious and waiting for my second cup of coffee. I smoked two cigarettes and am thinking about what I am going to write about and what I am going to research today.
Asking myself questions such as; What are my habits, where are my thoughts, how is my attitude, what are my feelings, and how this all aligns with my actions. Things I have been writing about all month and I am looking forward to growing my blog and finding more about the things that help.
This month I have written more than I ever have on this blog in the past. At the end of the month it’s good to think about; what big accomplishments you achieved, if you accomplished what you hoped, and if you really did what matters. I think I am a long way off from getting to answer those questions about myself and this next month I need to keep reading and writing more. I told my parents that this month I am working on self growth and they both agreed I am doing better.
It’s a long road of self-development and I am ready to put in the work of becoming my best self. Doing the work to find stability by getting myself right with God and those most important in my life. I had a great time with family but it’s back to staying here at the center and at the group home. Growing more in a safe space and being rooted in what I need and want.
My payee, my dad, pays my rent at the start of every month and I am feeling more comfortable with staying here. Having a sense of structure to help me stay strong as our foundation keeps us grounded and plants you where you are as you make small daily steps to take care of yourself and prioritize.
I have a list I found on Pinterest one day about parenting. A few months ago, I took a course on Parenting on Coursera. I really enjoy listening to Coursera about topics I’m interested in and at the moment I am doing a course on Purpose. Everyone parents different and everyone’s parents are different.
When my son was born, my parents suggested that I continue with my Education. I was a member of Single and Parenting at Fielder and a member of MOPS. I’m proud of My Mom as she is pursuing her Masters in Communications. While taking care of my son when he’s not at school. Giving up on my goal of Graduation in 2016; was one of the worst decisions of my life.
Not only that but I also didn’t want to stay at my parents house. Suddenly after I had gone to jail for a week because I had shoplifted from Mardel’s and Hobby Lobby; I called someone to take me to Arlington Homeless Shelter. After the fact that my dad had bailed me out that Friday. I was embarrassed and felt bad about myself to the point of suicidal ideation. I later found myself losing everything and in MillWood; where my family found Mrs. Charnel and her group home “Cave Care”!
It was Spring Break and my psychosis was hitting hard. That’s when I started noticing my schizophrenic disorder. After all I had been through and about to finish the semester off. I made the worst mistake and continued down a negative path for almost five years. I’m slowly getting my life back in order and today my caseworker took me out to go shopping for My Mom for Mother’s Day.
Today is the last day of April; and it's going to be May. May 8th is Mother's Day and I am thinking of all the times I have spent time with my family. This year has been going really good and I'm dedicated to staying at Home. I wrote in my Goals Journal; my core values for the month of April and May. I am sitting on the floor with my laptop and my books. While listening to a playlist I made on YouTube. I can't use my desk because the TV is on it. It's dark in my room and I have been focusing on what I can do to make life easier for next month. My rent is paid and my bed is made.
My Core Values: Core Values influence our behavior, personality, thoughts, attitude, and decision making according to https://thirdbliss.com/the-importance-of-values. She writes about the value behind core values.
For April I wrote Family, Patience, and Resilience.
For May I wrote Timeliness, Creativity, and Learning.
Didn’t bring my backpack or purse today; I want to get a better grip on life and felt like that stuff was weighing me down. So often in life, we feel where not exactly the best versions of ourselves. It’s helped my mood today and I am drinking coffee and eating grits and sausage for breakfast. It’s important to eat breakfast in the mornings; did you know we’re the most alert in the mornings.
Four P's Policing, Prevention, Penalties, & Parenting.
Also it’s right around the time people are celebrating lent, although I have never celebrated lent myself, so I’m giving it a try and trusting God with the fact I don’t need to carry around so much stuff. I only brought my cellphone and my cigarettes and my Zippo.
I’m working on self reflection today and adjusting myself accordingly. I figured it’s better to start on a fresh page and still without all the baggage of the past. I use Evernote for my main writing task. My main projects are my five year plan and my self reflection documents.
Last weekend I went to my parents house and spent time with my loved ones. Dad took me to go eat breakfast at Skillet N’ Dinner twice and gave me a carton of Lucky ð Strike Red 100’s and a box of chocolates for Valentines Day. I had a great time and am looking forward to the great times we spend together.
It’s Friday and I am at The Lions Center; I am thankful for the nice weather we are having. It’s important to me that I pay attention to where I am in life. I know that the weather is nice now but we could be in for more snow and cold days.
God has a plan for me and I have to be patient. Most of us deal with insecure feelings from time to time. I am grateful to know where I am in life though it’s not apparently clear about why I ran from the Group Home 5 times. I have several great things going on to keep me here. First being, around good company ♥️ We’re so quiet here and I miss my family ☕️ Through being a single Christian here keeps me in a safe world of my own. We have a roof over our heads and Caregivers who cook for us and give us our medication ð.
This Morning… I woke up and waited till my caseworker arrived at 10:30AM. We went to Wound Evolution and they said my fingers had really improved. The once horribly Frost Bitten wounds have healed. Seems the more patience and getting the right help pays off.
After my appointment we went to the 711 & I bought a medium coffee and got a bag to put the supplies the Dr. had given me. Seems they had sent me a box ðĶ of bandages and iodine and they didn’t arrive to my house.
I’m outside waiting for my caseworker and a client to finish with their appointment. Being patient and thinking about how my appointment here will be in a few days from now. As my fingers are wrapped up in gauze bandages and Pinterest has really kept my amusement.
I would have been better off if I didn’t drop out of school? Yesterday; I had also spent too much money on lunch and a pack of cigarettes. Things are okay but they could be so much better. Things will only get better ❤️ðĐđ the more I rely on God to help me through this trying period. I haven’t been trying as hard as I could but at the same time I am laying down the foundation to making my future a good one.
On the weekdays I go to Mrs. Cheryl’s Day Care Center. I sit here with my books ð, pens, markers, and colored pencils. Searching for any amount of inspiration I can conjure up within myself to make myself busy.
My Little Sister & My Dad! 2022"
Relationships; things are going well and I have confidence that things are moving in the right direction. One day at a time and we are on the same page now. As we work out future plans & sticking together as a team. This year I want to focus on being a part of the team of things that are working.
Career; there’s still hope for me to be successful as long as I work with integrity and diligence for the Lord to make life easier and not harder. I am uncertain if I ever will get to a self-fulfilling career in Advertising & Public Relations.
Habits; there’s more to life than smoking cigarettes ðŽ! There’s more to life than feeling sorry for myself that college and relationships didn’t go the way I wanted them too. I’m currently looking up habits and ways I can improve my life.
We just ate dinner; at 3:45PM - Today has been kind of a strange day...
I've been in my pajamas all day and I haven't called my dad. We had gravy chicken and rice. I added a Pinterest Widget to the bottom of the page. I also have no idea what to write about today; and I have been very unproductive and uncreative lately.
Ways To Grow In Confidence; Practice positive self-talk and hang out with people who support you. Take Really Good Care of Yourself, Stop comparing yourself to others, create boundaries,
6 Proven Ways to Build Confidence | Psychology Today