Finally December

It's the last day of November and We had a Happy Thanksgiving. Our caregivers provided great food; we had turkey and ham and dressing and potatoe salad. As well as pumpkin pie and peach cobbler. I've stayed home for the most part but two weeks ago I had to go to SpringWood Hospital. The week before Thanksgiving.

 

The Holiday season is here and I'm realizing how fortunate I am to be safe here at the group home. Thinking about what to get my son and family for Christmas. I bought some Christmas Cards yesterday and two gift bags. Hopefully I find my family something really cool.

Fruitage More-n-ing's

It's been an Awsome week here at The Group Home and at Heritage and with my case manager. As fall is here; I'm happy to be in a good place. It's Friday; and I am feeling a lot safer and willing to be here. I feel blessed and lucky to be alive.

Things I've Done This Week (Last Week Of September) :

I was able to get my injection
Talk to my psychiatrist
Get medication refills and go up on my Zoloft
Start my new job at Heritage
Buy a Pumkin Spice Frappacino
Buy a Pumkin Halloween Blanket
Buy some Pumkin Crafts
Recieving My Dentures
Go shopping with my Dad

Things I Do In The Mornings: 

Wake Up
Check My Phone
Drink Coffee
Smoke Cigarette's
Get Dressed
Use a Face Cloth
Dentures
Read Bible Study From "Our Daily Bread"
Blogging

I haven't written in a long time . . .

"Become who you are supposed to become so you can do what your supposed to do." I haven't been on this blog in a long time. I'm currently listening to Christian Uplifting Motivational Videos on YouTube. Thinking of what I need to get done. There hasn't been much to talk about. I have been taking an antibiotic for my hand that makes me tired. The group and I just took our medicine and got our five cigarettes and smoked. I've been taking courses on coursera.org. Learning is a lifetime goal. I'm planning on cleaning my room today.

It's Monday; and My 34RD Birthday is Wednesday !!!

I would say that I have had a good growing up; My parent's are happily married and have been for 35 years strong. They both watch over my little one while I am here at Cave Care Group Home. They have done the best they can to provide for me... As well as I have done a fairly good job of working and going to school. In the book I got from GoodWill "Cultivated" by John and Stasi Eldridge I am learning so much. That it's ok to feel like your lost but it's not someone who is going to save you. You have to find it in the power from God and through yourself to not get takin advantage of and when you do to not give up. As I am maturing and my Birthday is coming up I find it more important to do things that will be meaningful down the road.

My List of 34 Random Things 

1. Write Daily; journal and take notes.

2. Once A Week Buy 1 to 3 Nice Presents For Myself.

3. Talk to my family on Facetime Tuesday's and Thursday's.

4. Do not leave the safety and retreat of the Group Home.

5. Keep up with my blogging.

6. Getting Dentures soon; it should be two weeks from now.

7. Take notice of little things in life that make a big difference.

8. Put your best foot forward...

9. Put others interest ahead of yours...

10. Stay put in one place and don't run off...

11. Keep your stuff organized and neat...

12. Know that everything comes from God apart from God we have nothing...

13. Give yourself credit and know you've come a long way...

14. Don't slip back into the old patterns and negative behaviors.

15. Use your own judgement and know everybodies lifes different.

16. If you don't get to see your family often cherish the times you do get to spend together.

18. Do what you can to make the best out of your situation.

19. Understand that you can not impose on someone else's life.

20. Try your best each day.

21. Keep in contact with your loved ones.

22. Do not settle for something that is not good for you.

23. Somethings are better left as they already are.

24. Read at least 30 minutes a day.

25. Don't leave your safety and comfort for something temporary.

26. Keep your word and work to the best of your ability.

27. Don't overspend of see too much in a negative situation.

28. Do your part and take care of your responsibilities.

29. Keep your home clean and neat and take pride in where you live.

30. Read a little of the word everyday.

31. Listen and Respect your parents...

32. Keep up with your personal hygiene.

33. Love all... Trust Few... Do Wrong To No One...

34. Keep with your age and act accordingly.

Just talked to My Dad after we ate dinner and smoked; we had chicken spaghetti and garlic bread with some really yummy sweet carrots. We get five cigarettes at night and tonight we got Blue Carnival's. My Dad and I talked about the progress I've made since I've been back to the Group Home after coming back home from Mesa Springs.

Bewilderment Vs. Discernment

When first getting to know someone; I hope you aren't like I am. Thinking where did I first meet this person? This person must have come from my History Book somewhere... I just ate dinner and had two Monster Energy Drinks... First a NOZ Drink R.I.P. Dr. Naus; who was my Psychiatrist and I had been going to him for almost 18 years. I have spent 20 days at "Mesa Springs Hospital" and My new Psychiatrist is Dr. Bodea-Barothi I should hear back about Intensive Outpatient soon. I am diagnosed Bipolar Skitzophrenic and Now I have PTSD. Finally; I had a Monster Juice Pacific Punch. I smoked a couple of cigarettes. Now I'm silently in my room; thinking of how I just cut the rat tails out of my hair.

 

Today I bought a hot pink and black Worth backpack a new pair of Rainbow Stripped Nike's and two books. I must say that this book; Captivated by John and Stasi Eldridge is a good buy. I've gotten to chapter two and it's great so far. I also bought a book called "The Night Portrait" by Laura Morelli about WWII. My 34th Birthday is coming up and for my birthday my parents are taking me to go eat at Ninja Sushi. I spent yesterday with them and got to see my little 7 year old. We got slurpies and when I accidently spilt one I said "SHIT!" out loud and he was astonished...

There is a difference between being in Bewilderment and being in Discernment... First to be Bewildered means that your in a state of confusion. Curiosity deffinitly killed the cat; speaking of cats my Family's cat Hymnal ran away and probably got killed. I would be stating it the kindest way possible if I said that the last relationship I had was full of Bewilderment and wasn't healthy so I had to stop it. Learning to be happy being me and not depending on a substance to make me happy or the relationship with an older man looking over me to hold me to my highest regard.

Discernment comes from the core right now; as I am being contiounse of what steps to take and what to just leave in the past. Seems I write a whole hell of a lot and that helps get a lot of stuff off my chest; since talking off topic and about the wrong subject used to be one of my downfalls. There are only 5 of us here at the house on Hightower and most of the other people went to Meadowbrook. Yes I have lost some stuff along the way and have been; only this time my Birthday resolution is to stop the trending rebitual sentence of what has been happening for the last 10 years.

Saturday & Pinterest

I have some good moments and some hard moments; and my mood is quite moody since I'm on that part of the month. I've been researching Confidence and working on my Pinterest... Was planning on working on my blogs all weekend; so I could feel like I accomplished something. Life is ever changing and everybodies advice is different. Just tried to go down stairs to smoke and they said no. I shouldn't take everything so personally; but lately I feel like everyone has been picking on me or that I'm relying on them too much.

We just ate dinner; at 3:45PM - Today has been kind of a strange day...
I've been in my pajamas all day and I haven't called my dad. We had gravy chicken and rice. I added a Pinterest Widget to the bottom of the page. I also have no idea what to write about today; and I have been very unproductive and uncreative lately.

Ways To Grow In Confidence; Practice positive self-talk and hang out with people who support you. Take Really Good Care of Yourself, Stop comparing yourself to others, create boundaries, 

6 Proven Ways to Build Confidence | Psychology Today

Friday & The Start Of The Weekend

I did better with my money this week; and bought myself a nice necklace and pair of earrings from Sam Moon. I’ve been looking forward to getting paid my $50; from my parents on Friday. 

Waiting on the pastor to pick me up; to go to Heritage Day Care Center. I love going there during the week; and on Friday we normally have a dance party and a drawing from the tickets we receive for doing good during the week. I 

I have been sober for three months; and intend on staying that way & I am trying my best to improve myself everyday. I’ll be 34 in two months & I want to do better for myself & trust God in every detail of my life. 

This Weekend; I’m not starting work but we will be soon. Soon we will be working at The Texas Ranger Ballpark & AT&T Stadium working concessions. It’s been since 2013 since I’ve worked; I received my Social Security soon after starting a job at Wal-Mart. I was offered a job in 2016; but started going to Texas Wesleyan for Productions and Humanities. The schedule didn’t work out with Fiestas.

PCP Appointment & Self Care

I’m sitting outside the Heritage Day Care Center; and we just finished lunch. My Case Manager; picked me up at 10AM and we went to go see my Primary Care Provider. The PCP; took 5 tubes of blood and I gave a urine sample. I need to schedule an OBGYN appointment and do my best to improve my health. 

We had Lisa’s Chicken for lunch and on the way to the center I got a Dr. Pepper and Monster Kona Coffee from Valero. 

Looks like we’re not going to be able to work this weekend. I called my Dad; almost every day this week, and he’s annoyed that I’ve been calling so much. My Mom added me on my new Facebook.  

I have to start doing better; not only for myself and my future but for the sake of everyone involved in my life. 

The Month Of June on MMP For MHMR

My Case Worker dropped me off at the house...
She picked me up a little after lunch and we went to The Dollar General to get pads; seems I'm going to start my period soon. Then we went to Sam Moon and I bought a necklace and some earrings. Then we went to Brauhm's and I bought a double dipped cone. I have a Doctors appointement in the morning at 10AM. It is good that I haven't spent all my money on Cigarettes this week; unlike the week before. So that I could get myself some things I wanted and needed.

I have been doing good so far; one more month at this house then we move into our new house. Then my 34th Birthday is coming up... I want to have a Native American Birthday! Last year my parents took me out to eat German Food for My 33RD Birthday!

Today was laundry day and I just finished folding my laundry. Then put it in the teal bin I keep all my clothes in. I have two bins that we bought at Wal-Mart; one for clothes and another one for other misc. stuff like books and toilet paper.

Right Now I Would Like To Talk About; Where I Stand in my own opinion as myself. I am Single; and not looking for a relationship - seems I just don't do good in relationships and have a disorganized attachment style. I am giving my parents custody of my son; I tried to contact my ex to get his number and his address and I'm still waiting on a reply, so we can get the papers for the Adoption. I have a roommate; and have seven housemates all together. I have been living in a group home for the past six years; and left a total of five times. I go to a Daily Day Care Facility; and I really like it. I see MHMR two to three times a week and they have been a big help.

Dispite all the set-backs; I am looking forward to things getting better in the future. While not walking down negative roads again. Things change all the time; but I have learned I'm better here and it's better to follow God's plan. The more I follow the rules the better it gets also.

Life As Me on Monday; Start of My Blogspot

Just took my blood pressure with my heart rate monitor; I started taking my blood pressure and I'm supposed to use the machine every day. I got the machine before Christmas and my Son's 7th Birthday.

In fact, there's several things I'm supposed to do and not to do every day. I have matured in the last 3 months, a good bit.

Saturday: was socially akward and Friday I had bought some drinks for the group. Since we should always pay kindness back with kindness. Then Sunday Morning; I went and first went to the Texaco and bought a large Starbucks Frappe, the kind that go in a glass bottle. I love street art and I placed it by Meadowbrook close to where I thought I was going into to turn and go to the house when two of our neighboors dogs had escaped and were going down the street. The brown dog bit me and when I kept walking a lady and her dog got attacked by the Big Black Dog. I am not too keen on dogs, and I am more of a cat person.

At our Mim's house earlier this year, we had a white Pitbull puppy named Ice who was only a few months old. He would whimper, bite, and our caretaker ended up letting someone in the family adopt it. 

My Dad has our family dogs; ones a carrier tarrier named Chloe, and the other is a grey healer named Dixie. I just called my dad, at 3:35PM and wanted to see if I could come over for the weekend. The last time I saw my dad and Son; we went to "The Chinese Buffet" and to "Luxor's Vape Shop"... For Mother's Day.

I like my Vaporizer; and have had several Vaporizers bought for me. I have vaped ever since they came out off and on. Right now I'm vaping "Caramel Cappacino at 24mg" through a Geek Vape "Regis"; which cost about $75. In 2010 I took Journalism at UTA; now I'm working on Public Relations and Advertising.

I had a Large Slurpee today!
Looking forward to spending time with the groups and writing more and building and drawing some content for my portfolio.

What I Need to Do Every Day; From Now on After

1. Try To Bathe; and use soap.

2. Do some learning.

3. Talk to important people.

4. Help one person a day.

5. Blog and Add 5 To Pinterest.

6. Brush My Gums... I'm trying to get dentures again

7. Gather My Belongings and Sort Through Something

8. Read Devotional and Pray and Read My Bible

This was my first day to start blogging on blogspot! I'm reading this as of May 8th, 2024"! It's been about three years, since then, and I am working on editing and adding more information and getting myself back on a Routine! Starting School Back Fall 24"