Happy New Year 🎆 2022

​Good Morning; it’s The New Year of 2022! It’s a year to give it to God, and learn to be myself and do what's right for myself. To learn to be responsible for myself & really draw closer to doing the right things for my future. To be active on my blogging & use my resources wisely in order to become a more put together individual. Through reading my blog this year; I hope to provide others with steps and topics to improve their lives as well. 

I have written a lot about wanting to do better and now is the time to accept that I have everything it takes to be able to set my life in the right direction. 

Things I Want In The New Year; 2022 Will Be A Good Year… 

📡 I am accepting the help I am offered through my Insurance & Medicaid 🏥 Medicare. To receive this help call #211; I have a good working history that provided this help. My Father is an Awesome 😎 Payee & I respect him for all he has helped me with. 

🏘 RENT in “Cave Care” is paid by Social Security. Which is going up 🛗 to $810 a month. This year will mark the sixth year of being here. I am provided a good living environment with a good group of people. 

My Side Of The Room !!!

Three healthy meals everyday is included. Half a pack of cigarettes everyday is included for an additional $20. There is responsibility to clean 🧼 and taking good care of personal hygiene is important. We’re a drug and alcohol free community and I am willing to follow the rules. 

👩‍🎓 My Main Goal; is too “Get On My Own Two Feet 👣” through perseverance and hard working ethics. 

🍀👩‍🎨 I need to learn how to manage money wisely, be able to be there for myself and my family and the people that are important in my life, learn to cook for myself and maintain a good working relationship in the “Real World 🌎” 

Goals For 2022; 

1. To Stop Making Excuses For Myself! To get good help you have to want to “Get The Help”! Everyone’s experiences and life is different. One thing I am learning and still working towards is too stop comparing my life towards others. 

2. To Develop Good Mental Health & Stay Out Of The Hospital 🏥 So Much. I feel that although I am 

3. Try to pay 💰 back UTA the $2,020.16 I owe in the loan I took out in 2016. I dropped out & I owe this money to the school. I also need to start paying back the all together loans I have used, which amount to $16, Completed By: March 24" Thanks Dad!

4. Move forward in the direction of graduation 👩‍🎓! I have 114 College Credit Hours & I need 121 Hours to Graduate. I am majoring in Advertising & Public Relations. I won’t make any excuses for myself as my past is forgiven. Starting In Fall of 2024" Back to Texas Wesleyan & Taking Two Courses!

5. Staying Sober & Staying Away From Sex. I have really needed to read more from the Narcotics Anonymous books my old roommate gave me and focus on how I can turn my life of how I used to be into a success. I am a recovering addict...  

6. Draw & Write and build a portfolio; and start doing more to earn money. I started a design business in 2010 when I was taking painting at Tarrant County College. I want to build an online portfolio and presence that is professional and as an entrepreneur. 

7. Stop Multitasking and really be mindful and responsible for getting stuff done. I am tired of making excuses of being lazy, and I want to see myself as a success in the next 5 to 10 years.

8. Save up for what matters; I need to realize I don't make a lot and see what I can do for further earning potential. I have so much potential but times are hard right now since rent is going up. 

9. Staying active and physically fit; I love having healthy meals and a house to stay in. 

10. Staying close to my family and helping my son out as much as possible. My son was adopted by my parents and they do an awesome job with him. 

Drawing Ends The Year

​I love 💕 drawing and for Christmas this year my parents surprised me with a new sketchbook and expensive Tombow Pastel Markers. A Carton of Lucky Strikes and A Zippo, some make-up and some candy. It's the end of the year and we're starting 2022. I want to focus my blog on what's working for me and how I am moving in the right direction. I got my injection this week and bought some colored pencils.

I had an amazing time with my caseworker this week and today she bought me a white chocolate mocha from a nice coffee shop at Babylon's. Then we went to Dollar Tree, note they went up .25 cents on every dollar. I bought a steno notebook and two things of instant coffee and some toilet paper.

 

We don't go to the center tomorrow; and it's New Years Eve tomorrow.

Christmas 🎄 Eve

​Merry Christmas 🎄 Everyone; Christmas 2021" A Time To Celebrate The Birth Of Jesus Christ and four days to Have A Birthday for the little boy, who will be turning eight. OH!, how they grow in my heart!

This Morning I woke up at 3:45AM ❤️‍🩹; then went back to sleep till 7AM. At 9AM . . . Mrs. Cheryl showed up and I opened the present from her sister Mrs. Cookie 🍪. A picture that said “Be You” that was held in a frame.

My Dad picked me up shortly after I had taken my medication 💊 and she gave me my pill box & after we got done smoking a cigarette. 

Dad picked me up and we went to go get donuts 🍩 !! Then at 711 I got two packs of Black American Spirits. When I arrived to my parents house 🏡 the house was decorated nicely and there were presents 🎁 under the tree and we watched “Encanto”

Going to The Christmas Eve Service at 3PM…

The 🌟 appeared again from the Eastern skies. It led them until it hovered over the place of the child. They were at the right place at the right time. They entered the house and saw the child in the arms of Mary. They then opened their luggage & presented gifts: Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh.

Matthew 2:8-11

Witnessing Wednesday

I have learned not to blame anyone for the situation I'm in; and leaning on God's help this holiday season. As my caseworker just dropped me off and we had a phone interview with my Psychiatrist. I'm waiting for my clothes and sitting here with the binder I started that was inspired from cydneymarlene.com "A GYST Binder"... Thinking about how I can make my situation a bit better and how I need to do better about self-care. 

I need to take a shower and I don't have any excuses. How I need to focus on myself and prepare for Friday Morning for when my Dad will be here at 10AM. I'm going over there to their house for Christmas Eve ... I have my son's presents all wrapped up and I also placed some gifts under the tree. Mrs. Cookie is here wrapping presents and I'm happy to say that I can finally relax and do some learning about topics I've been interested in.

Change does not come quickly and the best way for my life to make sense again, is too keep doing the right thing and stick to the golden rules of what I need and care for. I'm thinking about my hobbies, in January when we first got our 2nd Stimulus Check "I wanted too start a business and start JF-Designs again." Instead I bought a lovely laptop and then things went downhill. Things have started looking up again and I need and have a desire too focus on my hobbies of writing, painting, blogging, reading, and drawing.

The Lions Club Center

It’s Christmas week; and I’m counting down the days till I see my family. This week we’re not at Heritage and we’re at The Lions 🦁 Club. Yesterday my caseworker picked me up and we went to the Dollar Tree 🌲. I bought coffee and we looked around. Then we went to Sonic and she got me an orange 🍊 cream slush. I have $1.60 in my Chime account & $5 in my Venmo account. 

A Financial Technology Company & Not A Bank; 

Unfortunately, I had to close my 

Frost Bank Account Down in 2020, after I went to jail.

Ways To Make Money Online: I normally get sent $180 to $213, a month! I am interested in freelancing and making a profit from blogging. 9 Ways to Get Paid Instantly - Chime

Then when I got home I needed to clean out my closet and vacuum. I placed the bag of stuff I got for my house 🏡 mates on the bed. Cleaned and then called my family. 

Tuesday’s Ten Before Christmas

Consecutive actions are all it equated too; last Saturday from a chicken 🐔 and waffles to steak tonight. I can tell you I have been very blessed to make it as far as I have. It's almost Christmas and our tree is up and we have gifts under the tree. Smoking House Montegos from North Carolina where my Aunt Susan lives to Smoking Yellow American Spirits that my Dad bought me.

In the next 10 days I’d like to…

1. Write a proper blog entry and finish writing Christmas 🎅 cards.

2. Apologize for my “Wicked” sleeping habits from the front of the month.

3. Recover from selfish shopping 🛍.

4. Solve crimes in the parks, and finish science experiment projects.

5. Write My Christmas Wishlist.

6. Keep a clean house 🏡 while smoking safely and drinking my coffee.

7. Watch 3 Christmas Movies all the way through.

8. Learn more about what the Government and Politics and what they are doing to me and my future.

9. Write helpful 2022 goals.

10. Help my son…

Monday's Mood

Waking up this Monday Morning to being able to drink coffee with my two awesome housemates. We went outside to smoke cigarettes at 8AM; which is what time where allowed to go outside. 

The Weather Outside Is Getting Cold & I Don’t Want To Get Frost Bite Again. 

The weather is turning colder and I need and was needing my sweatshirt. I love the new blanket I bought for my bed and Christmas is coming up. I need to stay inside when it gets too cold 🥶!

I’m lucky to have a house on Hightower I share with my housemates and hopefully one day I can take care of myself. When I think 🤔 of how careless and reckless I’ve been with my life I don’t have to regret it. I just need to do better the next current moment and make wise decisions. I don’t have to beat myself up about the 5 times I ran away & got hurt 😢 or stuff stolen from me. Don’t have to think negatively about the 5 times I went to jail for shoplifting. <p>

Beginning to look a lot more like Christmas.

We decorated the house this weekend for Christmas; putting the tree up and the stair way is decorated with tensil. We are waiting for our caregiver to come and give us our medicine. Thinking about what would be good for me to do; following house rules helps. 

This weekend we watched "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and mostly I stayed in bed all weekend. I haven\"t been very creative the last few weeks and on Friday my caseworker started talking about coping strategies. This weeked I painted my nails a pretty Christmas Tree color. Getting along well with others is important to me. Also, I want to do the best I can.

Why Do I Blog?

I haven't blogged in a while, and it's Amazing that it's December already. I haven't had anything to write lately that I think other people should read and am closing my blog JohnnaFloyd.com at the beginning of next year. My thoughts haven't really added up and they're not making much sense to me. As I struggle with ways to fill my time and becoming myself again. 

Blogging was the main reason I bought My Laptop and lately I haven't used it. I am finding I'm hiding my talents which God told us not to do. My main Care Giver; the one in charge of where I live asked me if I would start blogging again when I had gotten the 2nd Stimulus Check. I had a good Thanksgiving; we had a great meal. This week Dad put $50 in my Venmo and I'm still searching for the perfect Christmas gift for my little one. Yesterday I bought some Christmas Stickers and some Poinsetta Decorations. Hopefully tomorrow I'll find my son the perfect present. Thinking about what I can do to get into the Holiday Spirit. I bought 4 things of coffee and I had coffee this morning.

Finally December

It's the last day of November and We had a Happy Thanksgiving. Our caregivers provided great food; we had turkey and ham and dressing and potatoe salad. As well as pumpkin pie and peach cobbler. I've stayed home for the most part but two weeks ago I had to go to SpringWood Hospital. The week before Thanksgiving.

 

The Holiday season is here and I'm realizing how fortunate I am to be safe here at the group home. Thinking about what to get my son and family for Christmas. I bought some Christmas Cards yesterday and two gift bags. Hopefully I find my family something really cool.

Fruitage More-n-ing's

It's been an Awsome week here at The Group Home and at Heritage and with my case manager. As fall is here; I'm happy to be in a good place. It's Friday; and I am feeling a lot safer and willing to be here. I feel blessed and lucky to be alive.

Things I've Done This Week (Last Week Of September) :

I was able to get my injection
Talk to my psychiatrist
Get medication refills and go up on my Zoloft
Start my new job at Heritage
Buy a Pumkin Spice Frappacino
Buy a Pumkin Halloween Blanket
Buy some Pumkin Crafts
Recieving My Dentures
Go shopping with my Dad

Things I Do In The Mornings: 

Wake Up
Check My Phone
Drink Coffee
Smoke Cigarette's
Get Dressed
Use a Face Cloth
Dentures
Read Bible Study From "Our Daily Bread"
Blogging

I haven't written in a long time . . .

"Become who you are supposed to become so you can do what your supposed to do." I haven't been on this blog in a long time. I'm currently listening to Christian Uplifting Motivational Videos on YouTube. Thinking of what I need to get done. There hasn't been much to talk about. I have been taking an antibiotic for my hand that makes me tired. The group and I just took our medicine and got our five cigarettes and smoked. I've been taking courses on coursera.org. Learning is a lifetime goal. I'm planning on cleaning my room today.

It's Monday; and My 34RD Birthday is Wednesday !!!

I would say that I have had a good growing up; My parent's are happily married and have been for 35 years strong. They both watch over my little one while I am here at Cave Care Group Home. They have done the best they can to provide for me... As well as I have done a fairly good job of working and going to school. In the book I got from GoodWill "Cultivated" by John and Stasi Eldridge I am learning so much. That it's ok to feel like your lost but it's not someone who is going to save you. You have to find it in the power from God and through yourself to not get takin advantage of and when you do to not give up. As I am maturing and my Birthday is coming up I find it more important to do things that will be meaningful down the road.

My List of 34 Random Things 

1. Write Daily; journal and take notes.

2. Once A Week Buy 1 to 3 Nice Presents For Myself.

3. Talk to my family on Facetime Tuesday's and Thursday's.

4. Do not leave the safety and retreat of the Group Home.

5. Keep up with my blogging.

6. Getting Dentures soon; it should be two weeks from now.

7. Take notice of little things in life that make a big difference.

8. Put your best foot forward...

9. Put others interest ahead of yours...

10. Stay put in one place and don't run off...

11. Keep your stuff organized and neat...

12. Know that everything comes from God apart from God we have nothing...

13. Give yourself credit and know you've come a long way...

14. Don't slip back into the old patterns and negative behaviors.

15. Use your own judgement and know everybodies lifes different.

16. If you don't get to see your family often cherish the times you do get to spend together.

18. Do what you can to make the best out of your situation.

19. Understand that you can not impose on someone else's life.

20. Try your best each day.

21. Keep in contact with your loved ones.

22. Do not settle for something that is not good for you.

23. Somethings are better left as they already are.

24. Read at least 30 minutes a day.

25. Don't leave your safety and comfort for something temporary.

26. Keep your word and work to the best of your ability.

27. Don't overspend of see too much in a negative situation.

28. Do your part and take care of your responsibilities.

29. Keep your home clean and neat and take pride in where you live.

30. Read a little of the word everyday.

31. Listen and Respect your parents...

32. Keep up with your personal hygiene.

33. Love all... Trust Few... Do Wrong To No One...

34. Keep with your age and act accordingly.

Just talked to My Dad after we ate dinner and smoked; we had chicken spaghetti and garlic bread with some really yummy sweet carrots. We get five cigarettes at night and tonight we got Blue Carnival's. My Dad and I talked about the progress I've made since I've been back to the Group Home after coming back home from Mesa Springs.

Bewilderment Vs. Discernment

When first getting to know someone; I hope you aren't like I am. Thinking where did I first meet this person? This person must have come from my History Book somewhere... I just ate dinner and had two Monster Energy Drinks... First a NOZ Drink R.I.P. Dr. Naus; who was my Psychiatrist and I had been going to him for almost 18 years. I have spent 20 days at "Mesa Springs Hospital" and My new Psychiatrist is Dr. Bodea-Barothi I should hear back about Intensive Outpatient soon. I am diagnosed Bipolar Skitzophrenic and Now I have PTSD. Finally; I had a Monster Juice Pacific Punch. I smoked a couple of cigarettes. Now I'm silently in my room; thinking of how I just cut the rat tails out of my hair.

 

Today I bought a hot pink and black Worth backpack a new pair of Rainbow Stripped Nike's and two books. I must say that this book; Captivated by John and Stasi Eldridge is a good buy. I've gotten to chapter two and it's great so far. I also bought a book called "The Night Portrait" by Laura Morelli about WWII. My 34th Birthday is coming up and for my birthday my parents are taking me to go eat at Ninja Sushi. I spent yesterday with them and got to see my little 7 year old. We got slurpies and when I accidently spilt one I said "SHIT!" out loud and he was astonished...

There is a difference between being in Bewilderment and being in Discernment... First to be Bewildered means that your in a state of confusion. Curiosity deffinitly killed the cat; speaking of cats my Family's cat Hymnal ran away and probably got killed. I would be stating it the kindest way possible if I said that the last relationship I had was full of Bewilderment and wasn't healthy so I had to stop it. Learning to be happy being me and not depending on a substance to make me happy or the relationship with an older man looking over me to hold me to my highest regard.

Discernment comes from the core right now; as I am being contiounse of what steps to take and what to just leave in the past. Seems I write a whole hell of a lot and that helps get a lot of stuff off my chest; since talking off topic and about the wrong subject used to be one of my downfalls. There are only 5 of us here at the house on Hightower and most of the other people went to Meadowbrook. Yes I have lost some stuff along the way and have been; only this time my Birthday resolution is to stop the trending rebitual sentence of what has been happening for the last 10 years.