First Friday

I write this blog for myself and appreciate the readers who do read it! It's been storming for most of the day! Sitting in this dark room, trying to come think of creative things to write. Trying to be alone but part of the group, too much of either one can cause problems. I'm glad the Month of November has started, and I talked to My Father, yesterday. He said they were going to Mississippi on the Seventeenth of This Month. As I am with My Group Home Family, the eight who live here. I am reminded that we all have our own opinions and our own special gifts. 

As A Senior Drop Out, lacking Five Classes to a BA in Advertising. I need to make it my job, to find out all the information on how much I owe the schools. If there's a way I can attain a College Degree, and if I can actually have a career someday. I'm hoping for Financial Relief, but there's so many pieces of information out that I would hate to fall for the wrong ones. My parents have told me to watch out for scams, and I look for ways to make My Future Brighter. 

A lady came today from "Diamond Hearts" to tell me about the program I am starting on Tuesday. Which will include, rides to the stores and to do things, and peer counseling. As It's Fall Season, I am grateful for where I am living, and I am staying strong and safe. Most importantly I have friends here, it is a Christian atmosphere and the caregiver just asked me if I was crying. It's been, a long time, since I cried. No longer feeling sorry for myself but trying to do better, trying to make each day better than the day before. Yesterday, I had an MHMR appointment over the phone.  

Off and On Rain, which it sounds worse now and the winds have really picked up! Sipping on water, and making sure I have plenty of water to drink. As My Housemates, have been sitting outside and the caregiver just said we aren't going back out there. I have had problems with bipolar disorder and most of the residence here at the house have the same disorder. It's thundering and lightening now, and everyone is inside. There has been plenty of food and we had noodles and tuna sandwiches for lunch. 

November is here!

It's The Start of November, the caregivers are downstairs having a meeting. They said . . . "They have no problem with me!" I do what I am supposed to! I try to stay out of the drama and not complain. There has been drama but it hasn't got the best of me. I seem to stick to myself, and I am looking forward to the next time we go to the new center. We've had one person move out and another person move in. I want healthy strong relationships but normally stick to hanging out with the caregivers and daily learning online.

TODAY I'M DEALING WITH UNDERSTANDING

While many of the ideas I have and am learning about are becoming better I need to understand, that I am lucky to be alive! That although, things do seem like people complaining a lot! I am in charge of myself, I'm 35, and My Father is my Pay-E. It's My Parents Anniversary this month. He paid my monthly rent and I have everything I need. Taking a course on Coursera about "Brilliant, Passionate You!" Public health is important and it's more important to have a purpose in life. 

What do I Value? To learn from my mistakes and improve My Future! I value my time here at The Group Home, as I have learned that it's hard out there on the streets. Going in the right direction and not looking back. Sipping on water, had a Dr. Pepper while I waited on MHMR. I'm waiting till my laundry is done out of the dryer. Just had a telehealth appointment with MHMR. Which went well, I have refills on the way and my medicine seems to be working.   

What are some of the ideas I've been Learning... That now that I'm 35 and have my little one being adopted, I don't need to be on the streets and unsafe. I've been sitting in front of the screen and vaping. We will start going to a new center soon and I really liked it the last time I was there. As a group we need to stay safe and keep everybody accountable, which is really, the caregiver's mission but with a little bit of care and help, we can make things run more smoothly here.

There are people who can help us! My caregiver talked about a program I am starting, now that I have ended services with True Mental. There are good and bad people in the world and I hope that they can say I was a strong dependable and risilient person in this world. We have thirty minutes before we go outside and our caregiver just gave us our meds and our five cigarettes.

Self Serving Saturday

 I just took a nap and slept for about an hour and forty-five minutes. Went to sleep last night at Two AM and woke up at Eight AM. It's good to get a decent amount of sleep each night. In order to feel rested and alert at all times. This Morning, My Dad called and took me to Skillet N' Dinner where I had chicken and waffles. The service is a blessing there and the crowd wasn't that bad. Dad also bought me a case of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar and a case of Dr. Pepper. Service is known in the dictionary as helping or doing someone a favor. I'm about to go outside and smoke a few cigarettes then hopefully it'll be lunch time.

I was hungry this morning and ate a big waffle and the chicken strips are great! Thinking of how I can be in service to someone close to me this week. Helping more around the house or just being there for the people that need me. It's so close to Halloween, but no one here has said they are dressing up or doing anything. My little one wants to go to Target, and I am looking at gifts online that match my budget. With the purchase of My New Rainbow Geek Vaporizer, I don't know the next time my father will put money in my account. Though, I owe about $138 for the vapori I want to keep myself and my germs and my soul . . . safe! I don't want to share, nearly as much as I used too. I am considering myself more selfish, as I try to keep myself safe! The caregiver, who cooked, sloppy joes, and rice, and served me my cherry zero sugar Pepsi. Also, the main woman in charge told me not to share my vaporizer. I have been attacked in the past because I wouldn't share. There's got to be something more to being friends than asking for stuff that is special to another individual. 

Finally Friday

It's Friday about 11PM; staying up tonight and thinking about how things have been since I turned 35! I'm thankful that it is quiet, and it was a rainy nasty day today. Charging My New Rainbow Geek Vaporizer with My HP Stream Laptop. It's the weekend, and I don't feel like going to sleep, just yet! I've been staying at The Group Home since 2016, though this time I know it's the only place that I have that's safe. I have kept up with all the good materials I have gained in the past few years and don't want to lose anything. Learning not to take everything personally and going with the daily flow of life around here. 

Telling the Truth and keeping my word! It's been a full week, I voted, yesterday... My first time to vote again in a long time! It didn't take long, and it was quite a simple and very valuable experience. I'm a Republican and want the best for the future. I read somewhere "For you to be able to fully close a chapter in life, you have to be able to open a new one and move forward. Finished a jar of coffee and charging My New Vaporizer. I have two disposable vaporizers and two e-juice vaporizers. My Father: found my last purple vaporizer at his house that I must have left on Labor Day.

For the last couple of Saturday's, My Father, has been taking me out to Skillet N' Dinner. Though, it's supposed to keep raining and the weather is changing. I went to JPS yesterday and went to the Emergency Room to get my fingers checked out and to see if I could get on birth control so I can get my injection. My parents are adopting the little one and he had a costume parade at school, that dad sent photos and videos of. The last time I saw my whole family was Labor Day and since then I have become an aunt and have yet to see my sister's baby! Although, I saw photos and was grateful for the photos. Earlier, I went through My Photos and deleted some. 

True Test Tuesday

Today, I was told "I'm very Independent!" . . . That although, I live in this house I am a mature young woman who deserves respect. I was also told I make my own decisions. I told My Father, that I scored 9 out of 24 points on The Amerigroup Assistance Assessment. I didn't argue . . . I have told him everything that has happened! Waiting for My Driver's License to Go Vote! 

Waiting for lunch and for the Chaos around the house to start to calm down. What Test; I remember loosing the right to drive the truck My Father had given me in Spring of 2016, when my tire went flat on the way to a Geography test at UTA. I put in an application to ApplyTexas.com and am waiting on the Academic Advisor meeting on November 7th! I'm hoping things work out with the money I owe Financial Aid!  

I haven't taken a shower, but I do need to realize that I can wash my hair & bathe . . . By Myself! I have a "Brand New" bottle of Pantene Pro-V Shampoo & Conditioner, unopened, and a full bottle of Shampoo + Conditioner in the bathroom. I haven't complained but during the interview with Amerigroup, I felt very uncertain about myself. 

I'm grateful for all the abilities I have! I tried My Best to answer the questions correctly. I can walk though, I started to say my legs hurt! I'm 35; woe's to growing up! 

Favorite Friday

I had a meeting with MHMR this morning; and our main care giver, . . . called me at 6:45AM. I have worn my Faith sweatshirt and sweatpants. When the caregiver picked me up, we went driving for a while. It's nice to watch her interact with her grandkids. She bought me coffee; I was grateful to have a lot of coffee this morning; and a sausage biscuit and a hashbrown. 

Thank You for These Blessings . . . I finished lunch and had a chicken salad sandwich and corn chips. I smoked, two cigarettes, and the housemate was outside with me, I wish she would stop asking. Why are we being blamed for having social lives and things to do? I had a lovely time out with my caregiver and look forward to seeing My Father in the morning. 

 

Some of The Questions from MHMR in the Counseling Meeting; was have I ever hurt myself on purpose? I was thankful; My Caregiver was there my mind was mostly blank! She told the counselor that I am adventurous and that I'm lucky to be alive. These battles have been demonic and mostly about emotional and sexual abuse. She told him about, things I am trying to forgive myself for and for the most part already have. They had me sign several signatures on the documents and said there will be a meeting for next Wednesday. 

Thoughtful Together

Being dedicated to something, greater than yourself and monetary wishes, is important! I want to be remembered for all the hard work I have done and continue to do. I have had an issue today of getting into a problem with who is in charge of My Health Care. I have trust and faith; that this issue will get resolved. In the following, I would like to discuss what I have experienced with both, how I have improved, and mutual respect. One of the best things to do, is to do your research and find appropriate help.

I need to give, credit, where credit is due on images. I learned about this through istockphoto.com!

Although, today is the 20th, and it says the 10th! I am blessed through all the help I get! 

Mental Health & Mental Rehabilitation. 

I started out with this program in October of 2017; when my care giver signed me up. I really don't know what happened, which isn't a good excuse! I don't like making excuses in the first place. I am doing a lot better though! This program; is the one that they are changing me over too. Through, the last six to eight years . . . I have been writing on how I dropped out of College, Miss My Family and Visit them occasionally, and continue to make progress.

Found From Bing.com; through appropriate care we can make sure we are doing the best we can in life!

True Mental Health; is for people dealing with serious mental illness.

I do not want to go against, too many rules, around here. I don't even know when they started me on this program but each car was almost too luxurious and I would spend a lot of money every time I went out with them. Trips to the stores and one day even persuaded too move out, which I'm glad I didn't do. In some way or form when they showed up today, I felt almost attacked.

They showed up since May and I am glad too see which direction this goes. Life is an adventure, and I'm in an adventurous spirit and I also know my limits! I don't want to be betrayed and try to be a stronger person. My caregivers know best and when enough is enough we do what we can to survive.

Thank You! Rocket Fuel; I am trying to rebuild some of the bridges I have messed up! Hopefully, through learning more about relationships that are healthy I can do Awsome things in the future!

Written On Wednesday

I have three; things that I'm proud of . . . When you're proud of something, you shouldn't just bypass it and I have had moments when I felt my thought pattern was disorganized. I try to get myself organized; and labeled my clothes with a fine tip sharpie. I have been studying on Faith; and too me it means trusting without seeing. I am grateful; that I can see! Though; I'd love to have some newly prescribed glasses. My Email's have been messed up and I am hopefully finished with the Student Loan Battle. The three things, I'm proud of is school, work, and entertaining myself.

Healthy Relationship's; I have been sexually harassed and abused, in past relationships. Though, I am proud of myself for sustaining from sex for close to two years. I don't know, how to discuss this topic and I know I have taken a lot of the pain of it on myself. Being in the right situation and not wanting to go out and staying off the streets in this house. It's something, I am researching right now, and as time goes on things seem to get better. Although; it is something my housemate is bringing up, almost constantly. 

There are currently eight individual clients who live in Cave Care and we all have a mission, purpose, and calling. I am surrounded, in my part of the room, with so many books. I've only read to chapter ten in The Book By Moran "How To Be Famous!" I am so interested in this book, but so many things take up my time and I do them without excuse, for instance washing the dishes and going down the stairs when I am called. The interesting thing is this book has mentioned the name Johanna and I wonder if this is me?! Vain or not, as I am a writer who has been writing since I was 12. The Book; also mentions one of my room-mates names. In a way, this rewards me about writing.

Finding Your Voice; I am wandering into Chapter 10; as one of the caregivers, one who has known me the longest, stated in Fall I get into an Adventurous Spirit! I do not have a huge head, although I know I did when I was a kid. I was reminded, that my son has been asking for all sorts of things. Meanwhile; after the shopping trip this weekend I was happy with the things I have. 

Monday's Motto's

I've had a lovely morning; until one of the housemates emotionally dumps her smoke clouds all over me. Simply to be a companion, sometimes feels threatening. Though, through times of trials that is what we are called to do. We had amazing French Toast and Eggs, made by Ms. J this morning. It's been eight years she's been my caretaker. The First Year; at the first house we moved into I was hired by Fiesta's and I didn't choose anything other than going to Texas Wesleyan. I do not try to put my spirit or wisdom in front of others to intimidate them. The Government is paying off my student loans, as I take care of myself with the help that's provided. 

I do not know exactly what is going on, taking trips with True Mental Health was fun. Then all of a sudden it stopped; and I have been in the hospital at JPS twice. I remember telling My Family on the Moto. I have had a trialing history in life and am not wanting to repeat the same mistakes. I feel better than worse and my main health concern is My Bipolar Disorder. I trust in The Lord; and My Family and Care Takers have done the best for me. 

These Are A Few of My Newly Found Motto's

Mottos are short sentences that chosen to encapsulate a belief or idea guiding an individual. I shouldn't take things as defensively as I had growing up. Meanwhile, My Thirty Fifth Birthday is still a treasured memory, as the whole day was full of mature spiritual, physical, mental, and symbolic surprises.  

Don't Be Afraid to Fail, Be Afraid to Not Try! 

Gossip fills the air; and I want to start standing up for Myself and hopefully help others. In doing so, I know I have written and established myself throughout the group home. I am trying to create a world that I love and even try some of the things to keep myself entertained, while not getting into deep over my head. I'm currently, reading The Book of Joshua and learning about Faith. With Halloween, Right around The Corner, there are surprises every day in store.

A Bad Semester or One Bad Grade Won't Define Your Future!

It hasn't been, a bad life, and I choose to stay here and am happily associating myself with my future. Although; my email seems to be hacked and I am waiting on a call from the Main Care Giver about MHMR. Maybe a huge curse by playing hacky sack, or taking daily vitamins, or the new found interest of going through new situations upon the horizon! This Subway Ad reminds me of how many people got in trouble a few times I have left to go downtown. One of My Favorite Classes was IMC Campaigns and I made an A+!

Myself Monday

We're supposed to find faith in the people we can depend on; I was extremely thankful when World Bible Church; handed my caregiver and I Bible's. I don't understand, why some people would trade a whim for what matters most in their life. Educationally and Career Wise a degree in My Field, has been difficult! Though; I long to get more work out there and do not live in blame. 

Living together, . . . can feel, like a drag, . . . I have, yet, too recieve my medicine and I didn't ask My Father for more money today. I'm not, that needy, in other words I'm willing to deal with whatever The Lord Hands Me! While continuing to learn from mistakes, which I don't blame anyone because of. 

Though; I want too truly be myself! The Group Home; doesn't mean that everyone catters to your every wish and Hey! Who are they too be wishing on people, I didn't intrude on other's rights or invade personal space. I've also been here the longest, for almost eight going on ten years.   

I'm Reading, Caitlin Moran's Book "How To Be Famous!" Though I find it kind of an intimitading and futuristically irritating read personally! These blogs, that I have written which are accounted for and unaccounted for mostly went missing. I became nervous, sometime in June, when I was asked about living situations here. It's not for anyone to judge, and I can see how the words fly off the page and I do not take books that personally, although my personal goal is too finish the book by the end of the month!

Supernatural Sunday

 2 Corinthians12:9-10 [The Lord] said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. "So now I am glad to boast about My weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That's why I take pleasure in My weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For When I am weak, then I am strong. 

I have been somber in mind; which I would like to stay in my room most of the day. Cleaning and organizing my papers. Today, is my little sister's birthday, and I just realized that she turns 25 and not 28. My lil' sister and my family supported my recovery. I don't want to turn into a complete basket case, when someone gives you permission to be yourself, it shouldn't come with being angry, and the best thing I found is to give it time. 

Weaknesses; God is in more control of my life than anyone. He makes an incedible difference; I remember days when My Father and Mother, would make jokes about Him Being "Mr. Incredible!" People really do take a pride in their names and lives. I am proud to be their daughter but I am thinking about who I really want to become as my own person. 

Just too wake up, has been a struggle, though I know each day I try to accomplish something. Remembering, it's important not too give up. No Matter, how life gets, or if you have or have not accomplished your dreams, especially for me . . . My Dreams, have gotten the best of me. I don't blame my situation and am making the most out of it.

 

Monday Morn' Medicine

I'm staying safe, in my own part of the room, . . . The Highlight of My Weekend was going to get a fishing license at Academy with My Father. Then, going to get breakfast at Skillet N' Dinner. I appreciate, everything they've done for me. I wouldn't be able to talk about how disrespectful attitudes have surrounded me, at First I wouldn't be able too. 

Would This Be Better Than Morning Meds? 

I'm waiting for my case worker to arrive to fill my medicine reminder. My Room-Mate bought me a lighter and I needed one, but we we're told not too smoke today.  There's a difference between being a supportive friend versus being an overbearing friend. I have not, been, downstairs in the last two hours . . . Staying out of the way. Perhaps, even feeling a bit guilty too have asked My Father for $25, Saturday during His Favorite Football Game on TV!

I am still, unsure, about The Center . . . Which, I was warned about! I wouldn't choose to make fun of disabled people, or say that they're so lonely to want to destroy or hurt themselves. My stories, should or shouldn't continue, though after all it's up too and depending mostly on personal opinion. Creative Critics, and the comfort I learn. After, An Encounter, . . . You Never Forget!  

Saturday To Sunday Friends

 Through all of this; we continue to be individuals stuck in a group home, together, and even when where not friends, we try our best to get along. Living in a trapped field of comradaries; realizes which ones they were and are. Thanks for our week; as I finished off your statement of 

"I/You Will Never Be A Mature Adult Woman If You Don't Pay For It!" I don't always, allow myself to sit as precautious or as harmful as I am right now. Maybe; I asked for money? love? respect? I am tired of writing names and pointing the finger at anyone but myself. Yes; I had a good breakfast, sat down to drink coffee, and have been in the same comfortable clothes all weekend. I'm lucky for anything . . . I do have!

It's a little bit before eight o'clock, when I woke up! Looking to be more informed today and keep myself on current news. I smoked at 8AM and The Group Caregiver . . . arrived at Our Hightower House and had treasures of pretzel rods and caramel popcorn. Then I drank a cup of coffee . . . As If I Were At Starbucks!

Then I smoked; two more cigarettes and had my medication. I haven't recieved any fashionable items in a while. I am trustworthy but lately it's about being cautious! In fact; with inflation and my last purchase of a $25 vaporizer. I don't want to hear about one more person being lustful into  

Healthy Worlds ... What is healthy skin and mostly a racial target is that I am Caucasian. I filled out my form correctly too enter anything I have ever attained and joined.