My Dad pointed out yesterday that I have always been hard headed. If I wanted something I would do anything to get it. This has left me to think about what might have happened differently if I wasn’t so hard headed. What do I want to accomplish in this life? I have been doing what I am supposed to and things have been going better.
I wish everything about school would improve. I am hoping that Biden and The Government have some source of Financial Aid that will be useful to me; as they are coming up with a solution. My mom asked me yesterday what I would do differently if I had the choice. I wouldn’t have dropped out of Astronomy and would have made better grades. This was the first class I dropped out of before I dropped out of my Senior Year, two years consecutively.
Financial aid isn’t due till August 31st, and they have postponed it several times this year. I am on a pay as you earn deferment. The problem is I’m not earning anything and can’t get a job. If I could get a job, I would need uniforms and a way to get there. I also can’t earn more than a thousand a month on the Social Security Program I am on.
I wish I was doing something more productive with my time. Like working at a real job, like I did when I was 18. I was working for Target and had worked there at Target on Cooper St. for a whole year before quitting and changing jobs to work at a pizza restaurant as a waitress. My Dad asked me not too quit but I quit anyways.
I wish My Son wanted to talk to me and spend time with me. Hopefully as time goes on, this will change. I wonder how I was as a kid. God does everything for a reason. Last night my caregiver told me, that God knows what choices we are going to make before we make them, as well as knowing what we are capable of.
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